Mike had a few things to accomplish in "town" (20 miles from home), so since he put up a fuss that we spent most of the day apart yesterday, I decided to tag along. When I looked in the mirror, I knew it wouldn't be one of those days I could just throw somethin' on. When I really want to "glam" up, I grab my mp3 and go at it, but somebody inevitably needs something and interrupts by beating on the door so hard that even my music can't drown it out. Mr. Harper, though, is bad to just unlock the door...sooo I was groovin' to "Fergalicious" and threw my head around just in time to catch him peeking through the crack at me. He shoots for being home in my "happy" time of the month and pointed out his accuracy when I said how cold I was in the pharmacy. I silently thought, "Yeeaaahhh, it makes sense to be chilly when your body is 'honing in' on someone to keep you warm." ;)
We were in town to handle the custody of the boys, only to face bureaucracy (which looks to me like bureau crazy). Why can't it be simple as signing the legal form as a voluntary action before a judge? We need a lawyer, really?!
Then, we got home to a discovery that required punishment of the majority of the lot. We were extremely serious; in seeing that, most of them took it gravely and didn't complain that their plans for the evening were off and that everyone would clean, "deep" clean, 'til bedtime. We agree as parents that making the kids "do" something is superior to" time out" alternatives, where a child might scream - to the torment of those nearby or most likely sulk 'til he becomes clever enough to end it by giving a, "Sorry," no matter how insincerely.
The thing that tells me our kids aren't just kids anymore is the way they didn't talk back, didn't excuse themselves, didn't whine, didn't cry even though tears welled up at the thought of missing a game, and another offered personal accountability of what happened even though she didn't have any particular charge over the trespasser. That other was Miranda. She said she had harshly told Madalynn to leave (the room) to not be underfoot in the kitchen. And as much as I hate to reveal the details (because ultimately I'm responsible), here they are: when we drove up near dusk, Madalynn HAD left and was prancing up the gravel drive next door in her pretty, footed PJ's dawning one pink glove and having every intention of joining in the fun of the ones over there playing outside. AND, you guessed it....our children were oblivious to it, although they were all together and industrious when we arrived.
Miranda's face told it all. It's no secret that she's had a struggle ever since we moved here, not questioning the existence of God, but not "feeling" it either. I know God has touched her heart or she wouldn't have such a tender conscience. In my own experience as a young adult, although my God had been courting me for a while, salvation was as simple as being asked by a counselor, "Where would you be if you left this parking lot, were hit by a dump truck, and killed?" Now, the "working out" of my salvation is another story. I know people who wrestle with things, as if tortured, more than others; and it's tempting to blow them off, but sometimes I think they might be the best of us whom Satan is determined to devour and make ineffective.
At least while children are little, we can temporarily release them of heavy, guilty hearts through discipline. Confrontation about safety had to happen. After I ranted at the big kids, I had to deal with Madalynn. Just a couple of days ago, I talked over with a heart bound to mine the difficulty of spanking sweet little girls ...but it had to happen. Humility finds me when a child comes to my lap for confirmation of approval afterwards and is thereafter happy.
In holding back those tears, making no fuss, and her team needing her; we decided McKala could play and make up her cleaning tomorrow. The cool thing about her playing in the rec league is the mix: coed, black, white, hispanic, talented, not so talented and in watching them take a beating; I had fun seeing them all crack a smile now and then regardless. I got a little insight into some of "her" fun when I got back into the car after gassing up and told her it smelled like "guys" ...and she just giggled.
OH, and the BBQ this afternoon was good, the hushpuppies better, but the BEST was that I hadn't eatten 'til I was hungry and enjoyed the meal that I was offered. Yes, it was the only meal (and a reasonable size one) I had today. That's against common advice, but it worked for me.
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