Is God telling me or you to stop doing something that seems completely innocent? For me yesterday, it was Facebook, not as a mock fast but at the very least as a temporary time saver. His word didn't come through my mind but through the voice of my daughter. The defensive me wanted to shout and did, "No matter how little I do something, it's never good enough. I can't have anything!"
The Holy Spirit dealt with me in the night and told me that this too must go, not because of any particular evil but because of what is best. How often do we compare to the worst? "Well, at least I'm not this or that?" Really? Is that all we can muster up for God?
My time is at a premium now and I can't decide if my writing is for me or if it's for the advancement of the kingdom; and until I get some other things in order, I won't get an answer. Again my anchor verse rings true, "Commit that works unto the LORD, and thy thoughts shall be established," Proverbs 16:3.
Communication is what I love. We're supposed to do what we're good at, right? Like I told one of our girls this week, outside of best effort, there is no sacrifice in doing what comes naturally.
How funny that gab comes easy to a woman but she's to be in silence at church. She is to win over her husband through her behavior instead of her words. I said recently on Facebook that I believe God doesn't forbid or require some things, because he wants us to choose. Then and only then, we step into the realm of the understanding of grace. We receive our marching orders directly from the King, not by bypassing the Bible but by having poured over it, having obeyed it whether we understood it or not. That's what real faith is. And that's what I have to go on right now, and always.
Then why not put my faith to pen on Facebook? There's this thing that bothers me. A picture gets dozens of likes, the recounting of an experience gets tens more, but a verse gets a mere handful. I'm reminded to be thankful for that handful because that's whom it spoke to. I just can't get past, "For we preach not ourselves, but Christ Jesus the Lord," 2 Cor 4:5. I'm tempted to count and view my approvals. There's no godliness in that and the devil knows it.
When I ever come to terms with all this and if I'm "allowed" back in the discipline of time, I'll see you on the other side. I don't forget who you are and what your needs are. Therein is much of my problem: the intimacy of "knowing" so much about so many people I care about. I want to communicate to each heart, I really do. But I'm only one person and my mind becomes so consumed that I can hardly articulate. Ask the people I've been around lately. Maybe I'm wrong; maybe I'm doubting what I'm capable of; maybe I take things to heart too hard.
All I know is the Spirit has spoken. And I will by choice obey.
