Right now, I'm sitting in a rocker on the front porch overlooking the shadows cast on the property by the late afternoon sun. I like the "stillness" of it all as much as anything. Only the "little ones" and I are here. Macklynn is playing the Wii feverishly and after buttoning my sweater for me (for the first time :), Madalynn is "toting" around a kitten.
"Finding church" has been on the backburner for a while. It always seems like at least one of us is under the weather, out of town (or otherwise engaged), or missing a crucial wardrobe piece. When a child or two requests church going, a parent shouldn't just make the effort, they (we) should make it happen, especially when it concerns serious inquiry into verses like Mark 3:29. This morning it didn't matter that we've fallen back into late bedtimes or that I have unease with "visitor" scrutiny (even having to remember to check my breath). 3 of us managed to form an expeditionary group this morning and went on our way to a church we've been invited to a number of times.
Reality is a good mindset to have before stepping foot into a place of worship. Corruption is the inevitable temptation with authority. Someone in leadership will fall to it, probably because they never should've been there. Ideally church shouldn't be viewed as "school" either. The Sabbath really is a day of WORSHIP, not just learning. There are 6 other days to accomplish that. So, don't "expect" to be served. The desire to be "fed" is commendable, but search your soul for the desire to give. There is always someone who needs to hear your truth. The honest details of your life make you authentic and usable for God's intervention into a life, yes, even if it's just one.
The other thing I thought of on the way down the highway was that I don't want a "feel good" prosperity based preacher, nor do I want a "hell fire" shame based preacher. Oh, and I don't want one who talks "over the heads" of ordinary people and children. I also prefer HE/not SHE use the King James Version Bible (the unadulterated, unbiased truth). Excuse me if I'm looking for the ultimate. I've seen so many teachings and have firmed up my opinions over the years. Whatever insight into life I've gained has suddenly risen to the surface this year in the form of writing and I hope to goodness means something to someone. It's hard for me to swallow my own truth sometimes, so don't think I take it lightly.
In service now, a high school auditorium ...music was loud (which works for me) and quite well played ...the words to praise music always seem watered down to me though. Then, a huge screen the size of the stage dropped down and there was the preacher ...kinda Star Trekish ...he and the backdrop were lifesize but they weren't "real". It took a good 10 or 15 minutes for that to settle in. I thought it was at the very least interesting that the word "church" was written behind him after I'd already decided on this title, "Finding CHURCH". He was preaching what church should be. He said a couple of things early on that I personally felt made his approach weak. It sounds like he's opted out of politics (for what he deems a higher purpose). He spoke of uniting as if in a small community, when I'm trying to step outside the secrecy of small town business and goings on. He went on to say that they have "peacemakers" in their congregation to specifically arbitrate personal differences (which seemed foreign). At that point, one of the children slipped me a note, "We aren't coming back here."
He had sounded too tolerant, too peacable, too feely ...BUT as he spoke with his sleeves rolled up, he made it clear how important cohesiveness is to believers and how important it is to step out of our comfort zone to find a place in a person's heart where we can be trusted. They have a program called "At My Place". It's having people into your home who are put off by the church "building" and what it often erroneously represents. The thing that deeply struck me was the offer of Baptism immediately following the alter call. I completely understand the philosophy of couseling a new salvation to ensure it is indeed "that". This thing was refreshing though. Is it not how John the Baptist operated? The entire audience moved outside and witnessed the "washing away", the outward demonstration of a newly cleaned life. I was so moved at the sincerity and the "in this very moment" happenings that tears fell from my face onto my chest. There is nothing more beautiful than the rebirth of a soul.
Will we go back? Will Mike like it? Will I like how the children are taught? Idk. Idk. Idk. What I do know is that I found something good. Our search for the depth of Christ and those who love him never ends. Our "schooling" is only maximized when we get out there and experience the constant evolutions of men, our surroundings, and our means of knowing God better ...and sharing them. People who don't "know" Him don't understand that we want to "share" Him for nothing else but the ecstasy we want them to "have" with Him.
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