Hungry

     This is the final day of our seven year old's, Macklynn's, day camp, not just any camp:  Uplands Reach Conference Center, making "world changers" through Christ.  There is a back story beginning with our 21 year old's, Megan's, first meeting with them, I guess 9 years ago.   
     McKala (15) is their youngest ever summer intern.  Michael (14) was a "teen camper" and returns as a "captain" for younger camper programs.  Melody (11) requested to volunteer for the second day this week and that's big because Melody is rather aloof and doesn't get enthusiastic about much of anything.  So, today they have 4 of our kids and I couldn't be more glad about it as I left the building, head down, getting misty, and thanking God audibly.
     When Macklynn, Madalynn, and I have gotten there at 8ish late every morning this week, McKala and Michael have already been up cleaning and preparing for 4 hours, which is also about how much sleep they get after the activity dies down at night.  As I hugged McKala Monday morning, another girl, who along with others from as far away as Texas don't get to see their parents until August, asked for one.  I brought a half gallon jar of Claussen-like pickles we made in June and came to be renowned in the next 2 days for hugs and pickles, which is the minimal amount I can do for what the camp is instilling in our children, even if I had to drive 720 miles this week to ensure it.
     I had planned to stay and take pictures today, but yesterday turned out to be the last day this week that McKala would be working with the horses.  I didn't have the camera because I intended to buy batteries on Monday, but I stayed anyway and for the first time got to see how they start a day of camp.  In the gym, loud music was resonating as the 5 through 9 year olds moved to the dances they'd learned ...in selfconcious abandonment worshipping God with their voices and bodies and smiles.  It was beautiful to watch 80 or so children being led by the the teens in sheer joy, no stifled or boring Christianity there ...nor showy, obnoxious people "falling out" in spiritual fits, thank goodness.  They are a super clean, shipshape, upstanding, noble behaviour demanding outfit run by a dynamic evangelist and his outstanding wife.  Their 3 adult children are the fruitful evidence of sound teaching and cheerful upbringing.
     The groups split off and we followed outside to watch McKala teach about horse tack, but first got to see the foam waterball war they had.  There was a boy on the sidelines who got to spray the hose because he's in a wheelchair.  I asked McKala about him and she said the only voluntary movement he has left is in his fingers and that his MS is progressing so quickly that it's questionable if he'll make it through Christmas.  Then, while a truck was dumping gravel into the drive, I was blocked from leaving and had a conversation with a mother who miscarried 4 of her 7 children.  One was all the way to 34 weeks.  Personal stories like these show that if those people are still professing faith, that we don't have any reasons not to stay hungry.  I know the Bible speaks of peace, contentment, fed by the fullness of Christ.  That's not what I'm talking about ..."hungry", as in an insatiable desire for the will of and perfection through Christ ..."hungry" enough to devour His Word ..."hungry" enough to step out of our own darkness into the darkness of another life to feed it what all the "fullness" in the world can't provide. 
     So many young people are indeed full: pockets lined, bills covered, every comfort - parents just trying to get their kids' school complete so they'll be "successful".  Meanwhile, their liberal education and culture, despite "the church" and sadly inside "the church", are leading them down the same apathetic, lazy, entitlement oriented path as non-believers.
     Something God has laid on me like a brick lately is that He does not want to hear another plan or timetable I have in mind.  He wants my reliance for every thought, every action, every bite of food, every word, every penny, every minute.  For me to commit to Him what is already His is absurd.  All I need to do is acknowledge Him, thank Him, and quit trying to make things right for Him instead of through Him.  Satan is never more clever than in mind games.  And when we're distracted is when he wins.
     I introduced myself this week at camp to the father of a girl friend of Michael.  He joked but, in no uncertain terms, made it clear that no one, I mean no one, will get to his daughter except through him.  He is not distracted.  I don't know 'his' personal life but I know 'mine' and that when I don't see past my circumstances, I get distracted and lost from the most pressing honor I've been given:  to have the conversations that see our children into mature, "God fearing", responsible, independent adulthood ...to be "just" friends until they can find the person who will be their forever "best" friend, the person for whom they don't have to be the moral compass, the person who doesn't confuse loyalty with codependency.  Thank God for Daddys who watch after their daughters.
     As Mike and I were picking Macklynn up on Thursday, he was able to inquire about the camp's upcoming sale, intentions, purposes, and destination.  He was told that the present site, 100 acres, would become a place for men to come and get their lives in order.  Mike told me on the way home that he wants to give his testimony to those men.  Man, I can't even type that without getting teary eyed.
     Right now, Mike has Macklynn and is on the way back to Washington.  Madalynn is singing and riding in rain on her bicycle.  Miranda and I are about to go have some time together at her Daddy's request.  I'll leave you with a couple of things I saw on my ventures back home this week: an old man sitting by his house using his cane to play with his dog and a heavy set woman walking for exercise with her earbuds in, singing like no one was looking.  These too made my heart smile.  Find the good around you, and you'll always be "hungry" because you won't be "full" of yourself.