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     I'm at home and Mike's at church, such a reversal from years ago.  Although our guests went home around 1 am, I was wound up, probably from the case of canned Sunkists.  So, I didn't go to sleep until after 3 am.  A couple of the kids went even later.  When his alarm went off this morning, it startled me and Madalynn, in the next room, both.  Then, not only did I have 30 minutes to look decent, but also he asked her to go ...a 3 year old who had 6 hours sleep, had to eat and be dressed ...sharing those 30 minutes with me, who hadn't had any coffee yet.  Plus, in the back of my mind (and spilled forth ;) there was agitation that the kids have been visiting the church he's wanted to try, but he jumped up to go to another church.  (He got an invitation yesterday from the his friend he's been driving and hunting with.)  I'll admit right now I have flashbacks of things gone bad, and revisiting them sends me into a talespin ...grumpy children at church, loud ones in the library, mazes of boxes in the attic and spilling over into the house.
     Now, you've gotten a taste of what Mike lives with: my explanations.   I'm not exactly sure why I need justification and approval.  I thought it was the "good wife" syndrome.  I always wanted him to understand my purposes, even if he didn't agree with them.  I'm not sure how many words and how much time I've wasted.  So much character assessment boils down to putting words to action and that, when they average out, the result is positive and unselfish.
     It looks like winter weather finally.  I welcome it.  I'm definitely PMSish, along with a couple of other things.  I've had a full plate since the last time I wrote.  I love that today's Sunday and all I have to do is "be", especially since Mike washed up all the dishes as we cooked last night.  It's some kind of manic thing he does when company is here, but I'm glad to be the beneficiary.
     On Friday, I went with Mike to an Orthopaedic Specialist to get to the root of his foot and leg numbness, which inhibit him from any kind of exercise or hard work.  They kindly worked him into the schedule for an MRI, since his deductibles and out of pocket are met for the year.  We had a few hours to piddle away, so we ate, went back to Sam's and to see his friend's preemie, who is still in NICU.  Finally, it was 8:30 and time for the MRI.  I read almost all of Matthew.  You know, sometimes going straight to the source is the only thing that suffices.   And when the timing is right, it's like it absorbs directly through my fingertips.
     Although, Mike and I had "words" a few hours prior, watching the man walk through the door with his sleeping baby after she'd had her MRI was sobering and put our own situation into perspective.  When we got in the car, he put something into the GPS that was only 2 miles away and I guessed it: Krispy Creme.  And the red sign for "hot" was on when we drove in.  We needed them like we need holes in our heads, but if you're gonna splurge, you might as well make sure it's the best. 
     Saturday morning, the neighbor on the hill called to say his horse's foot had healed and he was ready to plow.   Michael and McKala helped last year and were happy to do it again, just hard to believe the weather is still permitting.  Mike went over with the younger ones to watch.  Soon, our dogs caused trouble and Mike told Michael to rush over to intervene.  Let's just say it didn't work out.  You ever been home minding your own business in a perfectly good mood and have something thrust upon you that you're clueless about?  Everybody has.  I wish I wouldn't "internalize" so much, as my mother puts it ...because we set the world ablaze after that.  (Too, he's been home reordering his business plan for 2 weeks and we aren't accustomed to so much intense "together" time.)  2 hours later, I sat puzzled ...and realizing I'll still never have the last word in an argument.  Our past sins will do that for us.  Mike gave it another shot and took the little kids back over, only for Macklynn to get nipped by the horse.  Any other time it wouldn't be too big a deal and it still isn't, but this "horse" happens to be a magnificent Percheron ...huge animal.  "Mike" internalized and took it all as some kind of sign and just "threw his hands up".
      The house was clean enough, the upstairs anyway, so I took a bath.  I read years ago how important it is to take a "breather" before entertaining, and epecially before a husband returns home from work.  I could never feel anything less than guilty if I didn't work on perfecting things up until the last minute.  The imperfection in that is I wind up looking and feeling like a haggard mess myself.  I wasn't going to put a damper on the evening for everyone else; so I got my mp3, candle, and a drink, to close myself away for a while.  It worked and I was sincerely happy to greet our dear friends in, along with some new ones.  (It is quite the joke that their new next door neighbors, in the house we rented in their subdivision, are as country as we are.)  I hope our first time guests had as good a time with us as we did with them.
     I'm not at liberty to tell anyone else's story but I would love to get permission for what Grace shared with us last night back in Miranda's bedroom, as I finished up a call.  I was in the somberest of moods upon pushing the "end" button.  Having an adult child is getting more complicated by the day.  Mike came to find me and express that I was being rude.  When I told him I needed some time, he brought me an oversized drink that in the pictures makes me look like a party animal, especially with that gargantuan fur on.  I assure you it was mostly cranberry juice and ice AND took me an hour to drink.  Our good friend, Jami, came to see about me and cracked up when I turned around in the office chair with it in my hand.  Soon McKala and Miranda discovered us.  Then Grace came in and shared those good stories until I returned to myself. 
     It was only a few minutes until midnight, so I followed the crowd outside for the show.  We stood star gazing in the interim and made plans for parties this summer.   For now, the New Year has begun and I hope that I'll spend less time explaining and more time doing ...because in the end, good intentions without feet are still nothing more than good intentions.   I don't think there's anything fresh about that statement;  people have known it for centuries.   It's just that some of us "get it" and some of us "don't", until it's too late:
     Ephesians 5:15-16, "See then that ye walk circumspectly, not as fools, but as wise, redeeming the time,  because the days are evil."