I woke up this morning in Madalynn's room in the bed we made for Aunt Mandy to sleep in after she and Memaw drove all the way from Georgia for the baby shower. Since Mike is still dealing with pain from the shoulder surgery, coupled with sleep apnea, I usually have to get up in the night.
In a departure from my normal morning priorities, I got country ribs boiling to bake for bbq later. And I got a load of laundry going to ensure Macklynn has all he needs for the adventure he's setting out on with Miranda and Michael tomorrow. Mom and Dad have invited the kids down once more to their Florida vacation rental to spend the days offshore fishing with Dad. A change of scenery will be welcome, even to Mady and me left here at home.
I'm still diligently praying that the Lord would provide responsibility and exposure for our younger children who don't have other little people to take care of and nothing more than two dogs and two cats to tend to. But just in the last month, not so much yet in work for the kids but opportunities in the face of Mike's hours being cut to 38, Macklynn and Madalynn have been whisked away by our friend, Shannon, to Mystery Hill up near Tweetsie; Macklynn to the Y summer camp fun day, to fish in the boat Pop sent up, and to a Triple-A baseball game; Madalynn to get sister manicures with money she saved from Christmas and to the baby shower for McKala.
McKala, it's coming full circle. My young ones will be aunts and uncles, with someone to be responsible for. It all struck me hard the other day and again today when I was listening to my play list and the baby music that I planned for the shower came on. The sobering realization finally came over me that spirits breathed into new lives by God will once more be in my realm. I haven't had much anticipation, neither did I for my own, because children are not simply goals, legacies, or experiences. There is no true preparation of understanding to meet completely unique eternal souls. And that they are identical just blows my mind. That a barrier finally "appeared" between the two of them to prevent them from a high mortality rate is answered prayer. That they are both already around 4 1/2 pounds at 31 weeks is amazing.
I just got back from the high school having had to bring Melody another 800 mg of Tylenol. I don't know what this means. It appears that she is having a spinal leak from the lumbar puncture she had last week. Her spinal fluid pressure is back up to 28, normal being 8 resting. We're waiting for an appointment with the neurosurgeon who did her catheterization last fall to determine that she has stenonis/narrowing of the veins exiting her brain. The remedy he recommends is the insertion of stents.
So, I cannot afford to have hindered prayers. I have a daughter with a high risk pregnancy, a daughter who is in line for what amounts to brain surgery, a daughter who is training to go into fires for a living, a daughter who is preparing for disaster relief learning to drive a tractor trailer, and a son who is a up against a line of 300 pound football players now that he has been moved to Center, ironically the position he started at as a little boy. That's just the big stuff. We have other diagnoses we've received recently. Plus, four of us have caught the latest sore throat and cough. That makes 6 times Macklynn's been sick since January. All these things together have brought my immunity so low that what I normally can stifle with rest and peace has gotten the better of me, forcing me onto daily meds.
But today, today I got to sit on the porch for a while basking in the sun, like a big ole mother bear out of hibernation, in the chair Michael made for me for Mother's Day three years back, listening to music on the phone Megan got me for Christmas, and seeing the good in all that's happening. As the devil would have it, we'd stay wound up in prayers over the physical state of our loved ones. And I do, but what gives me great joy is knowing the place I will be with them all one of these days, and that during these hard ones we're to affect as many people as possible toward Christ.
The Lord has led me to raise the children to get up in the morning with a smile, regardless of the emotional and physical pain they carry, with hope for the best and with thanksgiving that it's not worse. That's why most people who know that Melody just finished up a championship softball season would never think she has a debilitating condition, left untreated causes blindness from sheer pressure on the optic nerves. They don't see me taking her medicine to school for the headaches, and some of them even doubt the kinds of procedures she's had done already.
I'm convinced that if the Lord doesn't heal us that not only is He teaching us but we also are meant to influence the ones who are helping us. During her spinal tap last week, which is without anything but a local anesthetic, a nurse shared with Melody her daughter's attempted suicide. Whatever Melody said brought her to tears.
No matter the age, a professing Christian ought to be counsel to someone, available and willing always. Otherwise, something is amiss. Look, we don't even have to go out searching for some special opportunity. They're everywhere, like the girl at the grocery store. I usually get her line. Her name is Selena, so I wrote it down on my prayer list. I was in a big hurry two nights ago to get home to finish making enough supper for the guest list that had grown to eleven throughout the day. She could see the frustration in my face and so that she would not take offense, I explained and found an in to tell her I thought enough of her to have her on my prayer list. Her eyes widened and she eagerly whispered, "Pray about 'this' for me." Now I know she knows that I care, and next time I'll be prepared to ask her if she knows the Lord.
It's not that hard to figure out, this Christian life. As a wife and mother, it involves pleasing my Lord, helping my husband, and training my children. By helping my husband, I am pleasing the Lord. By training my children, I am helping my husband and pleasing my Lord. And all the while "reaching forth" my "hands to the needy" and "opening" my mouth in "wisdom" and having the "law of kindness" in my "tongue" to anyone and everyone I come in contact with. Period. Every other endeavor burns.
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