That's how I feel today, like I could "swallow the ocean". We saw that song performed live not long ago, and I loved it. This morning a flood of thoughts came to me, so I've been furiously jotting them down to spill them out here.
I'm "done" with the facade that most homeschoolers wear. I do wear a mask for naysayers. It shuts up dissenters when I say that I have an acceptance letter to Georgia Tech. Mind you, it was for the summer quarter because of my SAT score. I simply didn't study for it. I was busy planning my wedding. I was smart enough then to know that I shouldn't set sail on a new marriage and an engineering degree at the same time.
However, that story doesn't exhort mothers who are second guessing the ability to teach their own children. We have to tell the truth, the messy truth. Defensiveness has no place when we're dealing with our "sisters".
I may keel over if I see one more website with cutesy ideas for homeschooling. I avoid conferences for materials altogether. Listen, this is a lifestyle. It's not a "project" to see how many activities we can mark off. It's not a competition to replicate institutions.
We're raising warriors here. That's what it will take to thrive in a morally cowering society. We have no Biblical mandate to send our children onto the battlefield. I had a school superintendent tell me and two other moms that the system needs children of character. When the system kicked out God, it voided itself of character; therefore, my children are under no obligation to fix what it broke itself. I've heard harsh testimony from two women recently of how they were raised in Christian homes, considered themselves to be Christians, and still wound up performing the unimaginable. How can there be "home training" when no one is home?
Why are we homeschoolers trying to "fit in"? Don't you know that our children will "give in" if they do? Teach them to set the standard. We need children who will rise to occasion. As I wrote a few months ago, the "American Dream" was never viable for Christians to begin with. Now, it's almost impossible for anyone. As I spoke with a neighbor this morning, she talked about human trafficking. Are we raising young men and women who will sacrifice their time and abilities to end such evil? Or are we taking them to practice and birthday parties, never talking about the hard stuff? Don't sugar coat things; tell them the truth about everything, about temptations, about abuses, about your past. They won't be able to see the miracles in life if they never knew the truth of how bad things were to start with.
Don't keep secrets. Tell them about the finances. Don't allow them to feel "entitled", even for the sake of education. Don't be their maid, and don't pay them for things they ought to do. Don't do things for them; do things with them! Apologize often. Say, "I don't know," when you don't and look it up with them. Spend one on one time with each child. Today I was walking up the driveway from the mailbox in a rush to finish things in the house. Madalynn caught me and said, "Let's sit on the wellhouse together." I didn't really "want" to, but I did. Once I relaxed, I saw all the things that need to be done and was "oh so" tempted to hop off and grab a rake. BUT I sat there and talked with Madalynn because it was the right thing to do. 5 minutes of undivided attention to a little person can mean everything.
Discipline them consistently, or you'll not have an environment to teach in. Spank them properly when they're young, and you'll save yourself and society a world of grief. Tackle the tough stuff. Teach them to deny themselves, because only then are they useful for charity. "Above all things put on charity ..." ~ Col 3:14. Notice the KJV says "charity" not "love". Love means a lot of things to a lot people. Charity is specifically a selfless action. Teach them to VOLUNTEER and for goodness' sake, or should I say, "for God's sake", don't have them do it to get their picture in the paper, or to go on a mission trip to nail in a few nails and run off to have fun, or to check it off for some badge. Don't just go on field trips all the time; get involved.
Teach them to WORK hard, that no matter how far they go in life that nothing is "beneath" them. Teach them to work for others, for the community, in the church. Teach them to SERVE each other. Teach them to get their hands dirty, literally. Teach them that suffering well is a beautiful thing. Teach them that suffering is part of their walk and to embrace its lessons when they come. They'll never be deep, if they live a shallow life - apart from suffering and her instruction. Teach them to be SELF RELIANT, to manage and to protect themselves. Teach them some of everything.
Tell the children what they "can" do, not just what they can't. Tell them making love is a wonderful thing and to wait for it. Tell them they can think for themselves. Tell them they can try something new. Tell them they can "do all things". Then, tell them to beckon God's will in those things.
Hold them accountable to self-denial. Praise them when you notice growth that only you can see. Praise them and praise God when they subdue natural desires. Whatever you do, don't center their education around them. Let them be part of the mission their parents are on. Let them see their parents sacrifice for each other. Travel with them. Do things; don't just read about them. Don't you know what Ecclesiastes says about belaboring things? Don't teach them to read material just for the sake of reading. Have they read "Foxe's Book of Martyrs"? Have they read "The Screwtape Letters"? Don't dumb them down. Don't make them hate the very thing you're devoting yourself to.
Anything on the school desk beyond The Holy Bible, The United States Constitution, a multiplication chart, and a dictionary is icing. Choose it well. Fluff doesn't breed spiritual giants. Moments of relativity do. Hold the vigil for times like these which give you access to the heart and mind of your child. Teach them that it's not always about "choosing the lesser of two evils but the greater of two goods". Teach them that "OBEY" is not a bad word. Don't let them be sloppy when they can do better.
Teach them that when they have grown into reliability/trustworthiness, that it's nothing to be proud of, but rather to give thanks to God for. Teach them that the devil will readily trip them up with their arrogance so that they are of no example to anyone.
There is ebb and flow in learning. If your child isn't a natural at the things you are, then watch in awe as they bloom where they're planted. If your child isn't an intellectual, don't disapprove of the way God created them. If your child isn't "normal", cheer for joy because his life won't be mundane.
Don't be too dignified to play. PLAY and be silly with your babies, no matter how old they are. Make the work worth doing. Don't worry over what you will do and how you will do it. God will put things in your path that he wants your family to do. Don't kid yourself that you're irreplaceable in your career. Don't kid yourself that yourself replaceable in raising your children. Don't believe that someone else loves your children the way you do.
If you have no joy or purpose or passion, reevaluate. Don't live by a list. Live by priorities. Perfect can only be done if it's done in peace.
The "don'ts" are so very much for us. The "dos" are so very much for them. Do let them explore; do let them cook; do let them sing; do let them repair; do let them create; do let them farm; do let them compete; do let them take risks; do let them take their time; do let them work things out; do let them explain ...all in an atmosphere of reverence. Don't let them form close relationships with those who would carry them away from the truth. Guard their bodies and their hearts. When they are ready, you can unleash them on an unsuspecting world as breaths of fresh air. Then, they will call you with stories of their witness and work.
LIVE with your children. Teach and train your children well. Grow as they grow; then, when you and I are old, we'll have few regrets.
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