If my decisiveness causes divisiveness, then come what may because I've lived too much of my life in the gray.







Thursday, October 31, 2024

The Sacrificial Thing

     I've had enough sausage, pie, and dip.  I imagine most Americans feel the same way.  I think it's why New Year's "resolutions" are so easy to make.  After all, aren't they an effort of "atonement" for our December "Mardi Gras".
     I weighed this morning and since I only truly overate on a few occasions, I know that within a week of consuming more water and less sodium, I'll be back within 3 pounds of my "normal" range.   Problem is that my "normal range" is still way over what is deemed "healthy".   I'm not going to read back over last year's "resolutions" because they're just that, resolutions ...not put forth by GOD, but by ME in my pitiful attempt to sacrifice for where I've flailed.
     Surely, to God, our New Year is just another day.  Funny that we would "decide" to recommit so much to Him on a day of our own "choosing".  Granted we all get out of sync with the season of decorating, visiting, shopping, sniffling, and partying ...and oftentimes with good intentions ...just wondering how often "worshipping" fits into all that. 
     We "fit in" our worshipping this season with a Christmas Eve candlelight service.  If it hadn't been for our friends' invitation, we might not've even made that.  We squeezed in on the right side of the sanctuary, and after I looked over that same direction to assist Madalynn with her candle, I was moved when I turned left to see the glow that hundreds of candles formed.  It was something with which no stadium full of lighters could compete.
    The remainder of December consisted of all kinds of misery and merriment.  Along with the flu and a cold, now we think there's a good chance several of us had the Whooping Cough.  It began at Thanksgiving and lingers still.  Intermittently, our families came anyway, braving the odds.  They bestowed true Christmas blessings: veritable feasts and household staples, a trailer full of bedroom furniture (which we've not had a matching set of in 18 years), hand-me-downs from cousins and friends, more thoughtful gifts, and money.
    Yesterday, we decided to drive Mike to work in search of sales on things they've been wanting and, in some cases, needing.   Melody the retro bike she'd been eyeing.  They hit the "jackpot" on jeans and workpants.  McKala found the straps for her new ENO hammock.  We swayed the little ones to buy a few small things and save the rest.
     The thought crossed my mind more than once that they were buying things with their Christmas money that "before" we would have supplied for them.  I had the dubious feelings of guilt and gladness.  There they were making no complaint and even excited finding the right item at the right price.
     That made it all the worse when we lost Michael's only coat, one he helped pay for.  We were in a hurry to pick Mike up from work on time.  While I was putting in the groceries, I rushed Michael to get the little ones situated in the car (around the bicycle).  For whatever reason, he put his Carhartt coat on the roof.   Madalynn even said as we left the parking lot that, "The coat fell off."  I barely caught her comment as I checked the clock, and assumed she said, "Coke", because we'd been drinking them.  When we drove back 30 minutes later, it was too late.  No one had turned it in at the store either.  Maybe a simple thing like having his name on the label might've changed things.  Regardless, we drove home without it.
     As I cut open frozen pizza with my back to them, I caught out of the corner of my eye McKala, who was already emotional about something else, thrust her own coat on Michael.  She spends a lot of time inside now because of her asmtha.  She told him she doesn't use it much and left the room refusing to take it back.  This sliver of the story is nice in and of itself, but I knew how excited she was to find and buy it when we went Black Friday shopping with her "advanced" Christmas money a year ago. 
      My face burned realizing the sacrificial thing that just happened between 2 kids who don't always get along.  It was a moment for me when everything seemed right with the world.  A barrier was broken.  Call me greedy but I believe similar things can happen daily.   I had written that very afternoona a BRIEF list of family goals for the future.  God knows He's tired of my "spreadsheets".   It went something like this:  daily (spontaneously if necessary) pray and worship, daily (spontaneously if necessary) do aerobic and weight bearing exercise, daily (spontaneously if necessary) teach and learn something NEW, daily (spontaneously if necessary) work but never forget to PLAY, and last but not least: SERVE, not share, but serve - purposely (AND spontaneously if necessary) lay down our own wills to that of another, do something out of the way for Mike, for each other, and for a friend or neighbor - DAILY.

(2013)

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