So I posted a picture of Michael Jr's work and play clothes hanging on the porch and stated it saddens me that these kinds of clothes are hardly necessary anymore for an American boy. Maybe it sounds like I think I've got it all figured out. Posting that I've got this one (kid) doing "that" and another one doing "this" portrays an image of unfaltering industriousness. I don't wish for anyone's envy, but I do hope people will consider who their children are becoming "now" AND that children don't always age out of "phases".
No, things here are not all about baby animals, blooming flowers, rekindled romance, sweet aromas, and "all knowing" parenting. I have a "sunny" disposition with everybody, but I lose my cool with my own husband. I often have to push our children to cooperate. I was enamored for years with "classical" teaching, waiting for natural persuasions to bear results and have come out of the haze to realize practicalilty has its place and it's not on the bottom of the totem pole. Things pile up. Days go by. I forget how high my calling is. This week it struck me hard that Michael will be 16 in a little over 2 years. Realistically, I have only that time to finish impartation of what really matters and to be a woman he can respect ...as she is and not only as his mother. In the same breath, I must remember that lifelong lessons are taught a little here and a little there ...as little eyes watch to see if we mean it.
Michael went into Sheetz to get a slushie after his practice last week. At the door, he realized there was a young woman (with no particular attraction for him ;) behind him, so he backed up (with no grandeur) to offer it to her before himself. It startled her. All of us in the car giggled at them, but it stayed with me for a while - first that he did it without me whispering, "Get it," ...second that she didn't anticipate it. It seems that fathers aren't teaching their daughters to (what's the word I'm looking for? I don't care for "expect", "command", "demand") "FEEL" WORTHY of gentlemanly mannerisms. True chivalry is dying. Bravery, accountability, anonymous charity, sweat and blood are passing away from the American fabric. We aren't content with small houses and meager provisions.
Are we "grooming" our children to be what we want them to be, to be "happy", OR to have HEART to change the shriveling strength of America? Are we considering the alternatives? Just this past weekend McKala, 14, was given a serious offer to undergo equestrian training in Wyoming upon graduation, then to become staff at a children's camp here in North Carolina. It was a true circumstance of being in the right place at the right time with the right attitude and reputable history. Megan calls home from Georgia with questions still and my answers always boil down to my "right place, right time" philosophy. It's not "my" philosophy at all really; it's simply being in God's will on all levels. I foresee Miranda's future out in the "wide open" working with living things, plants and animals, but she also has an instinctive interest in history relating to current events and politics. Melody has natural musical abilities but claims she'll be an ER doctor (and does have the stomach and wits for it). Point is: I don't know what lies ahead. I don't need to know. I need to make sure they're the kind of people who will succeed with honor and lean on their Maker for understanding.
I got a sample of Michael's maturity the day after he had a football injury and I was bottle feeding not only his calves, but also McKala's. I realized one of them had the "bloats" and Michael was the only "big" kid available to me. He limped down to the stall, identified it as McKala's, and rode with me to glean information from a local farmer to remedy the complication, #1 cause of sudden bovine death. We drove back quickly, cut our garden hose, and Michael maneuvered it into the 1 month old calf's stomach to physically release the trapped air. As he dillied with it to find a new pocket, the pain he was experiencing was as evident as the growing distortion of his shin and calf. (Had we used compression it might not've been so severe.) He wasn't far from writhing and later in the ER, said the pain rivaled the 17 stitches he required when he nearly scalped himself sledding. I asked him in the stall if we needed to get medical attention right away (fearing it was broken) but he said almost in tears (of torment) that, yes, he was hurting badly but the calf was going to die, so he "had" to stay right there. Miranda arrived soon and took over so I could get Michael the comfort he needed. She successfully got the hose in 3 more times over a 2 hour span and saved its life. We brought Michael back on crutches and topped the calf off with oral penicillin and a cup of mineral oil. It was especially pleasing, after the surprising death of the one last week, to wake the next morning and not be able to differentiate the sick one from the others. Perserverance is a beautiful thing, but not quite as beautiful as the unity of a family moving into action on the behalf of another member.
Of course, Michael has "gone country" with the rest of us. We had a funny discussion about it the day he went into Sheetz and he told the girls he doesn't need to "dress" country to prove he's country. He does clean up well and pulls off a good city boy look. I like that we can transition that way ...in a way, "being all things to all people". When "God talk" goes on, I see a lot of young men who automatically jump in the box of the desire to become a preacher when they get sincere about their faith. Problem is that not everyone makes for a great evangelizer. Believe me; I've seen enough to know. Michael is not much for the 3 Rs anyway. We will cover the fundamentals. And yeah, he's sports solid, but I think he's got a little something different in store for this world.
I won't promote my own agenda with Michael, but I will recognize the obvious. By the way, I'll admit he flies under the radar, hoping to go unnoticed when a job isn't done efficiently. That said, imminent danger ignites him, sparks heat that gets him off the couch. He has a soldier in him. Ballistics, marksmanship, pyrotechnics, and weaponry put a light in his eyes like nothing else does. He watches it, does it, talks about it. I wouldn't dare persuade him of a different avenue because of my own fear. I learned all about it a few years ago watching Megan's flyovers, dipping in and out of our "hollar". We need good guys dispersed in every occupation because there are people who won't "hear" The Truth unless they "see" it lived out beside them. I tried to explain that to a Jehovah's Witness this week. People need "the real deal". If you're pretending, half committed, just stop it. Reevaluate and turn it all over to Christ ...because it is that easy.
I don't have an equation to raise your child right. The only common thread I am sure of is that God knows what well rounded means for your child and you are given the keys to the answers. Just please remember that without discipline and real work, a child won't be well adjusted; he'll arrogantly expect everyone to adjust to him. If he has no fun or reward (notice I didn't say "bribes") to look forward to after his hard work, it's all really null. If the fun never involves you, then don't expect to be much of an influence on him or her.
Funny I started out on a different course with this writing, but I was swayed to present something else, so I hope someone out there somewhere finds what they're seeking. If not, it makes for mighty fine diary documenting for me and mine.
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