I've been thinking about the holidays arriving and what's become inevitable for so many of us. I can't remember a time when I was downright hateful with family or friends, not without provocation anyway. I'm trying to recall when I was just plain rude to any of them and can't. I've bent over backwards to have smooth sailing. That's why rocking the boat seems okay with me right now.
There comes a time when enough is enough, no matter the age, no matter the position in the family tree, no matter the status in society. The interesting twist in establishing a line in the sand is that when we cross back over to their side, anything we do in earnest is an expression of mercy, a clear act of good will ...because we have made known that we don't "like" what's been happening, but we're reaching out anyway.
It's all right to lose the "nice" shell temporarily ...funny how so many people conveniently assume being nice comes easy for us. So, when they tromp all over us, we'll get over it ...because we always do. That's why "truth" is so imperitive! It may be that they'll never know the difference if we don't finally stand up and say, "I don't like that. It's wrong and it's rude." How many people will suffer one more holiday with individuals who start something to hamper everyone's day? Is this the tradition we want to pass to our own children? Is this what they have to look forward to in the pomp and circumstance, all the preparations?
We are bound to take care of our family and friends in times of need but no one says we have to let their undisciplined emotions snuff out the joy of gatherings. I can't subject me or the kids to any more than we already have on our plates. Mike has this broken leg only a week into this new job. (His size 14 shoes got hung up in the rungs of a step stool.) We have the house torn apart: switching bedrooms, cleaning out closets and drawers, painting walls, shampooing carpet - I finally got rid of the strange orange substance that had poured down the wall and onto a snakeskin behind the boys' beds! McKala's asthma has relapsed some. We having testing to get underway. We still haven't "winterized" the outside. And, of course, the list goes on, BUT I can't let it prevent me from "dropping everything" periodically when one of the kids wants me to do something fun. I don't want them to remember me striving to keep order at all expense.
We finished up sports, much to the dismay of most of the kids, until sometime next year with a football banquet for Michael last night. I asked permission to tell the parents and players how I felt about all the times they'd taken Michael for us to practices and away games. The room was big and I was visibly nervous but managed to get out how much their "yeses meant in a season of noes for our family". It's a Christian travel team and they showed the spirit that expressed it.
We had no plan to go to church this morning but while I was sleeping, Mike had been looking up a sister church in NC to the one he'd been in last week in NJ. He woke me and said if I wanted to go, I had 10 minutes because it's 45 minutes away. I guess not washing my makeup off last night turned out to be a perk this morning. I grabbed the same clothes I wore, except the hand-me-down shoes Megan gave me. I spent 8 dollars getting them new heels. I don't know what I was thinking, that the size 10 shoes would stay on. I put Madalynn's shorty socks in the toes of them last night and limped through. Sometimes being a tightwad isn't all it's cracked up to be.
Other times it 'is' all it's cracked up to be. The Harpers won't be as "active" for a while, but it leaves time for things like Melody sitting in McKala's room, that's now just down the hall from us. As I eased off to sleep the other night, I heard them giggling. Transitioning to a teenager has been so hard for Melody and blissful giggling doesn't come all that readily. I started to quiet them when I remembered a specific night back in the mountains. All the lights were out but Megan and Miranda were giggling (loudly enough to be heard from 2 stories down, mind you). I wanted to hush them ...and Mike said, "Don't".
Times of sweetness are what we all want to remember after the dust settles, so pick them well for you and your family.
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