O Glorious Day

     I wasn't sure it would happen.  I thought Mike and McKala might not make it since his is the next truck out for disaster relief and she gets to go with him before she nails down a job.  Megan had her finals due Friday night.  Miranda had to work until midnight.  But those 2 girls showed up from Georgia anyway at 2:30 Saturday afternoon. 
     I stepped onto the front porch to shake something out and there they were, down at the field petting the calves.  I leaned over the rail and breathed in the sight.  Even after they came up the drive, Miranda headed to the pasture to the see Patty, the pig.  Macklynn went straight for Megan's bags and gladly brought them in.  When McKala took him to buy some groceries that afternoon, he made her sit still until he could come around and open her door.  This is vital for a child who is so self conscious.  He'll shut down in a heart beat if he's embarrassed or in trouble.  Sometimes I wonder if it was the trauma of the Transverse Myelitis or if it's just who he is, a lot like his Daddy, a brilliant live wire.
     Anyway, Miranda was the crux of the occasion.  Even though most family and friends didn't make it, Miranda wanted it to happen sooner than later.  She was saved when she was 12.  We were not led to join any particular local church because of how the youth were managed, so she was denied Baptism.  She tried to explain it to her coworkers last week.  Later, one mentioned that Miranda was going home for her "bar mitzvah".  When another one was recounting how cold her baptism was because they forgot to turn on the heater, that same woman had no idea what they were talking about.  The example of "immersion" was completely foreign to her.  Does it ever occur to us in our daily living that there are people who only go by what they're told and by the traditions of their families?  People need to know the truth: "...Repent, and be baptized every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of sins, and ye shall receive the gift of the Holy Ghost." ~ Acts 2: 38.  As our pastor, Brother Kevin, says, "You are not there by coincidence."  Wherever you are, there is someone who is "dying" to know the truth of Christ and His Living Word, the Bible. 
     I found some comic relief when Miranda told me that in another conversation, a fellow employee shushed the foul language of another because, "she said, 'Miranda's father is a mercenary!'"  I know she had good intentions and just misspoke, but how funny!
     I'd warned the kids not to ask Megan and Miranda to take them anywhere, since their time with us wouldn't last much more than 24 hours.  Wouldn't you know Miranda had already decided to take the ones with February birthdays to the movies?  So, when they got done sitting around and singing impromptu songs like "Are You Washed in the Blood?" (which I stood hearing from the other room, in chills), we went to see "Escape from Planet Earth".  It "only" had a couple of subliminal messages and was all in all about brotherly loyalty ...nice message since Megan and Miranda were at each other's throats ...amazing to me how they live together as opposite as they are.
     We got home around 10 pm, needing to prepare for Sunday.  The little ones got their baths, while Megan helped McKala figure out the problem with the sewing machine she'd left her to use.  (Michael had managed to rip a hole in the only decent jeans he has.)  Then Megan helped McKala with her lasagna for Sunday's lunch.  I ironed in Miranda's room, where she was resting.  With a cold coming on, she felt terrible the whole weekend.  Too, there were 3 of us fighting our hormones!  Oh my.  I finally went to bed at 1:30 am, thanks to "springing forward". 
     Sunday morning, chaos ensued.  There's a time and place for everything.  It was NOT the time for me to fuss at all the things I found undone when I went downstairs to rouse the troups.  By the time we got in the car, most of us were "fit to be tied".   I know it's just Satan's way of preventing us from whole heartedly participating in the morning worship, so you'd think I'd get a clue by now of what's happening WHILE it's happening!
     We met with the other "baptizees" before the service.  There were 10 ranging in age from 12 to 88.  Yes, I said "88".  How wonderful.  As we made our way downstairs, Jake came through the door.  He'd driven from a neighboring county to be there for McKala and her baptism.  He's doing all the right things.   And, yes, McKala was baptized too.  So was Melody and so was Michael. 
     Sometimes parental pride (which I shunned last week) gets the best of us ;) and one couldn't help but see Mike's pleasure at the presence of ALL our children filling up the seats beside us.  It didn't take Madalynn long to curl up on Miranda's lap and fall asleep.  I had the camera and was so tempted to take a picture every time we stood and Miranda was left seated because Madalynn was wrapped around her. 
     There was something good in the delay of the baptisms.  Miranda made the decision to repent of her sins when she was 12.  Now she's 18.  McKala was very young, 6, pursuing me incessantly but made a firm decision when she 11.  Now she's 16.  Michael was 9, giving his life to Jesus the same summer that Miranda did.  Now he's 15.  Melody was 8 and wrote recently of how her heart felt as she answered the call.  Now she's 12.  I had time to make sure that they are "sure".  I got the opportunity to make certain that their salvations weren't only emotionally charged quick fixes to guilt trips or misunderstandings, nor acts of compliance.
     Mike motioned for us all to leave when the participants were dismissed to get ready.  He wanted a front row seat in the old santuary where the baptismal pool is.   The first to be submerged was the elderly woman.  She just couldn't quit smiling.  She'd had the truth obscured by Jehovah's Witness for many, many years.  Every story was special.  I've never seen couples baptized together.  There were 2.  The tears were overflowing well before the kids' turns.  Enter the Harpers!  The kids tell me they whispered among themselves of being in together, when the preacher had the same notion!  He bid them ALL in as we onlookers laughed and worried a little that it wouldn't hold.  (The kids say it did splash out some :)  The laughter continued when Brother Kevin nearly went under with Michael and his big self.
     Their public profession came full circle.  That's what counted as much as anything, "public".  That Macklynn and Madalynn got to witness it was so good.  It gave credence as an outward sign of faith and it spawned conversations and questions I'm glad to answer.
     The only regret I have in it all is that I wasn't careful to notate the exact day of each one's decision to follow Christ.  I can't even remember the date I was saved.  It was in the spring and I was a 21 year old sitting in a couselor's office.  (Thank you again for sending us there, Memaw.)  I, too, didn't get baptized for several years.  I finally did with Megan 6 years later in The New River.  Now, in October THAT was cold.  True enough, it's a walk and a "day" isn't as important as a "life" devoted to Christ.  Though, a legacy I'd like our children to begin in their own families is to celebrate their "second births" even more so than their first.  There's no Biblical mandate for it.  I carefully say "but" here ...because if we're going to commemorate sentimental things, they should be substantial instead of supersticious, as are most of the holidays we entertain.  I love birthdays because with our big ole family, it's a time to tell and show each child how important they are to me and bless them on a day when every other day makes them just one of the pack ...which isn't a bad thing, by the way.
     When we got back to the house, the temperature was in the 60s.  While the lasagna cooked and before I knew it, Michael had Megan out in the field across the creek letting her ride his motorcycle.  She returned glowing that she still had "the touch".   McKala and Jake were out fishing by the pond with Michael, Macklynn, and Madalynn (with her new birthday pole).  Melody rode her bike and hit a few softballs.  And even though she had a headache that 4 Tylenol didn't touch, Miranda showed us how she normally gives the cats' shots.  She and I sat on the swing together till we were so comfortable in the sun, we couldn't move.  Mike and Megan sat down the porch in the rockers.  Man, just like old times, all of it, just being family.  O glorious day. 
    

Pancakes, Pristineness, Pride, Possum, and Pig

     Yesterday morning I ground some more of that wheat from 1999 for pancakes to keep everyone's appetite satiated since we were hittin' the slopes.  We didn't get to go last year, so the kids were especially anticipating the trip.  Michael Jr drove us all the way up.  There was excitement in the air when we saw from afar the white peaks after the weekend snow.
     It was a pristine day, crisp and clear, hovering in the 30s.  The wind was strong enough to strow the styrofoam cups I'd brought all over the parking lot.  We had everyone, sunscreened and chapsticked up, or so we thought. 
     We had a plan, that Melody would assist Madalynn on her first outing in skiis, that Macklynn would stay near them on the easy courses, and that Michael would do his own thing for a while and then pair up with Macklynn.  McKala couldn't ski since she'd cut her finger with the new Case knife she bought and had to have stitches, with no tears I might add!  (I can't laugh; I did nearly the same thing.)  She was consoled easily by Jake's spending the day with us.  We only wished Miranda could've been there and that Megan gets to one day.  (About the time we started going, 6 or 7 years ago, Megan had begun working already.)
     Madalynn clung to Melody, making it almost impossible for her to have any fun.  I had tossed around the idea of trying it myself this time, but couldn't find my snow pants and resigned not to.   However, McKala said, "Just do it, before it's too late."  You see, I've NEVER done it.  I've always been pregnant, nursing, or chasing around a toddler.  The last time we went Madalynn face planted a bench and fell out of a chair.  It was one of those days I'd just soon forget, except for the conversation I had with an ambassador's wife about the antiquated/industrial reason for school and why they homeschool. 
      Anyway, I had to rent a snow bib and get rigged up to ski.  I didn't see much reason to take the class that was part of the package of  "Homeschool Ski Day".  I'd get over on the "bunny" course and help Madalynn a little.  I mean, I have good coordination and all.  I can throw a ball, hit a target, swim, water ski,
dance enough to hold my own.
     I didn't even make it to the conveyor to get up TO the bunny hill.  I hit a slick spot and was down in a millisecond and had no idea whatsoever how to get back up.  As people went around me, one nice lady said to just release the boots to stand.  Madalynn had gained confidence and went up without me, even though she hadn't gone down by herself yet.  When I tried last night to ensure McKala hadn't taken pictures of the scene, she told me their view was blocked but that Madalynn, on her way up, called to them on the balcony and proclaimed matter-of-factly, "She fell and can't get up!"  Thankfully, the lady who kindly gave me advice also waited with Madalynn at the top.
     I finally just carried the skiis up the belt.  The hill didn't look so high from the bottom ...but I knew there was only one way down.  I had envisioned that I'd put Madalynn and her skiis between mine like so many other parents sweetly do.  There was no way in Hades that was going to happen and of course, we fell half way down the dissent, clamouring for each other. 
     If you want to be knocked off your pedestal of pride, just try something you've never done in front of everybody.  I could say that I stink at skiing and that would be ladylike, but I'm gonna say here that the reality is I suck at it!  I have never tried anything that I just couldn't do.  Everyone says benevolently that I just need practice.  Not likely!
     It made me want to retreat and retrieve the swagger of the sun I'd gotten, my down vest and cute boots with the rabbit fur gloves that the kids bought me for Christmas.  You see, that's my ground, the lodge, knowing every song on the Classic Rewind from Sirius Radio:  The Cars, Van Halen, The Black Crowes, Santana.  And, yeah, that's my kid out there.  And, yeah, trying to prove to the other moms "I still got it" ...though in actuality, my 7 kids got the best of me.
     As I was about to bail, they announced that the beginner's class was starting again.  Uh, yeah, better do that!  Madalynn and I eventually made it over there and spent an hour learning the basics.  And, yeah, she caught on way better than I did.  The generous young woman of a teacher said it was just that I wasn't committing.  I was thinking, yeah, I've been pregnant more than 63 months of my life, trying NOT to jeopardize my footing ...so, yeah, this was uncomfortable for me.  I really enjoyed her though and am glad to say I tried it.
     In my oblivious state, I didn't know that Michael had already escorted Macklynn down one of the big slopes.  They spent the next 2 hours going up and down it together.  I have a whole new respect for their abilities and courage, all the kids'.  Melody was right there with her brothers.  She busted it, got up and kept goin'.
     After the class, I was done for; so Madalynn and I went to disrobe from the gear.  I decided we'd do that in the locker room, instead of the bathroom, and made a quick turnaround.  As I was putting my boots back on, 2 men came in.  They turned around quickly but came back laughing.  They said they thought I was in the wrong room and they were right!  As we were laughing hysterically about it, another man came in and exited ultrafast when he saw me.  Still laughing, I told him, "It's okay!"  HE didn't think it was okay.  Just wish I'd had a camera for the look on his face.
     When everyone finished up, by Macklynn's invitation we sat reclined in a semicircle around the fireplace and talked, until Madalynn wouldn't permit it anymore.  She was seriously tired and had been copping an attitude all afternoon.  On our way, we passed the outdoor ice skating rink.  Madalynn had really wanted to skate but I told her I wasn't going to reward her with it.  McKala said it was the only thing she'd really wanted to do.  Macklynn was game, especially since he'd just drunk one of the giant Cokes I'd gotten them from McDonald's.  They were all jacked up on caffeine and ready to fork out some more money.  I have to say the FIREPIT sold me.
     So, there we were in the dark and the splendor of the backdrop of Ski Mountain.  No skating for me.  I  sat by the fire, took pictures, and soaked up the kids' interaction:  having a blast, whole rink to themselves, going round and round to the Sirius 80s lineup.  And, yeah, I knew all those songs too, whether I was a fan back then or not.  They snuck in some 38 Special ...so, yeah, Melody and I sang along, to each other across the way, "So Caught Up in You, Little Girl" and "Hold on Loosely". 
     Watching them was a time when I could've gloated in pride as a parent: all the help they gave each other throughout the day, all the things they accomplished.  BUT pride is never, not even in a parental way, a good thing.  "Every one that is proud in heart is an abomination to the Lord ..." ~ Proverb 16: 5.  Now you say, "BUT ..."   What?  Do you or I think that we have earned what is good, that God did something for us that He wouldn't do for another?  No, being "proud" of our children should be nothing more than JOY that we are a part of it.  Why do I deserve better than what the father, of the sweetheart girl we met last week, has?  She's a small 15 year old with serious limitations but with an exact awareness of what's going on.  Mike and I agreed that she was the happiest person we'd seen in a while, smile permeating the room, reaching out to her father for reassurance every few minutes.  He has a beautiful thing and we have a beautiful thing.  Ours is no greater than his, so we have nothing to be proud about.  If anything, how can we not exhort our children to use their endowments to provide for ones less fortunate - true charity, the opposite of pride.
     On the drive home, I thanked God earnestly that none of us were hurt and that tredipation still has a place in my life.  As we came up the drive, a big possum crossed our path.  Although Michael was dead tired, he lay in wait for it to come out of the culvert, to kill it before it killed our chickens.  Since we bedded down after midnight, I tried to let them each wake on their own this morning.  And they have one at a time, risen with red faces and sore bodies.  But, alas, I had to wake Michael because Patty, the pig, was on the loose.  Thus another day begins.

Alone

     Have you ever been in a room full of people and felt alone?  Were you thinking how impossible it would be for them to understand what's happening in you?
     Have you ever sat still because you were afraid if you moved, you'd mess everything up?
     Have you ever lain still because you didn't want to change anything about the feeling of God's presence?
     Have you ever remained still because you weren't willing to settle for less?  Do you know how if feels to go it alone?
     I read today:  "Our world is looking for love.  As human beings we need to love and be loved.  But we're looking in all the wrong places.  We look for it from a parent, from a child, from a sibling, from a spouse, from a lover, from a friend, from a pet.  But our parents grow old and die, our children grow up and live their own lives, our siblings move out and on, our spouses are too busy or too tired, our lovers become jealous or bored, our friends are superficial or selfish, our pets can't speak or counsel.  Who can truly understand the need of a human heart?  Who can meet the need of our heart?  Where is love found?  Jesus revealed to Nicodemus the profound insight that love is found in the heart of God."
     Have you ever wanted approval more than love?
     Have you ever had something to say and were prevented?
     Have you ever stopped to consider that God wants you to Himself?
     "Turn thee unto me, and have mercy upon me; for I am desolate and afflicted.  The troubles of my heart are enlarged:  O bring thou me out of my distresses.  Look upon mine affiction and my pain; and forgive all my sins.  Consider mine enemies; for they are many; and they hate me with cruel hatred.  O keep my soul, and deliver me;  let me not be ashamed;  for I put my trust in thee.  Let integrity and uprightness preserve me;  for I wait on thee." ~  Psalm 25: 16-21.
     Is "no" continually your answer and you don't know why?
     "Hide not thy face far from me; put not thy servant away in anger:  thou hast been my help;  leave me not, neither forsake me, O God of my salvation.  When my father and mother forsake me, then the Lord will take me up.  Teach me thy way, O Lord, and lead me in a plain path, because of mine enemies ...Wait on the Lord:  be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart:  wait, I say, on the Lord." ~ Psalm 27: 9-14.
     Have you done some of your best Bible reading in tears? 
     Then you're not alone.

Guns, Cars, Sleep, and Birthday Blessings

     I spent this Sunday afternoon shooting with newly 15 year old Michael.  He asked me to go outside to try out the new Remington 1100 Sporting 20 that Granddaddy brought him for his birthday.  What he really needed was someone to pull the skeet shooter since Mike was watching the Daytona 500.  I didn't mind a bit to be out in the warm gentle breeze.  But Mike couldn't resist coming out and shooting a couple off the porch himself.
     Michael hit his first skeet; so did Mike; so did I ;)  I haven't used my Mossberg Shotgun for anything in 3 years but hip shooting buckets across the yard  ...it's like riding a bike though ...if I'd remember to pump a cartridge in, nightmarish when you click and nothing happens!  We moved on to handguns.  I haven't target practiced in well over a year, but had a consistent 4 inch group.  My Sig P226 and me still have a good working relationship.  Melody got in a few good shots too!
     Right now, he's cleaning the guns; the others are watching "Les Miserables" on PBS AGAIN, and McKala's taking her first ride alone, after she helped clean them.  Yes, Mike's persistence in finding 1 owner vehicles has given us TWO cars now that are PAID IN FULL!  McKala got her license Friday afternoon and Michael got his permit.  Four of seven are on the road now.  That makes for a lot of prayer ...and staying in tune with God so that they're heard!  (You don't know that our prayers can be hindered?!  "He that turneth away his ear from hearing the law, even his prayer shall be abomination," and "Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.")
     Mike took them to work with him and then to the DMV Office Friday.  Leave it to cows to get out when their owners are away, so Melody and I had to finagle one back.  He's unpredictable; so instead of walking with him, Melody sat in the back of the van with a bucket of sweet feed as I drove with the flashers on down the side of the road.  It all went without incident and we didn't even have to call anyone for advice or help!  But we didn't have time to do the last minute cleaning before Mom and Dad got here with Maggie from Georgia ('til they called from a traffic jam).  You know: wiping down the microwave and around the dishwasher door, checking for cobwebs and clean sheets, picking up stray toys in and outside. 
     Years ago I stayed awake as long as I had to, to get everything as perfect as I could before our parents arrived in town.  I just can't do it anymore.  As a matter of fact, my mother pleads for me not to so that I'll be better company when they arrive.  Lately, I've heard here and there people sloughing off the importance of sleep.  I even know some people who follow a little catch phrase about it.  It's mostly men, who don't have to produce milk for a baby nor get up with the baby throughout the night.  Those things aside, simply missing an hour of sleep every evening accounts for an entire night when the week is done.  So then, is it okay to drive sleepy, stunt growth, compromise immunity, nod off God knows where?  What's noble about combating tiredness?  You don't really think you've achieved anything when you have to caffeinate or medicate to make it through the day, do you? 
     And what about my personal vice, overeating to compensate for running out of steam?  No matter the time I awake, about 4 every afternoon, I just plain crash.  I have resolved solidly that it's not time for me to eat, but time for "church".  I can't just go on Sunday and Wednesday and all the other mornings; I have to go late afternoon, too.  He knows when I'm running out of Him.  BUT I remember all the years of bearing young children and the temptation to eat to keep moving through my sleep deprived haze.  Even statistics prove it now.
     I'm short with people when I lack sleep. I care little for looking forward, rather surviving the day.  AND when I'm weak in body, I'm weak in mind.  When I'm deliriously sleepy, my mind wanders into places it shouldn't.   I know the verse about "a little folding of the hands".  I also know the verse in my favorite Old Testament book, Ecclesiastes:  "The sleep of a labouring man is sweet ..."   Not sure why that has to be tampered with. 
     I did miss some sleep in the last couple of weeks and didn't make up for it in time to prevent the condition that catches up with me everytime my body is brought under duress.  It drains me down to nothing ...and as a close friend's dad views his same sickness, keeps him in check for what he's doing to himself.  He turns his curse into a blessing! 
     This week was full of those, blessings.  You see, for almost every birthday that one of our children had, there was a coinciding one.   Madalynn shared her birthday with my 94 year old friend.  She couldn't come over for breakfast, so we decided to pop in but her family had swooped her away for lunch already.  We left what we'd brought and went on our way.  Since we didn't plan any parties, even using leftover decorations and specified homemade treats by Melody, I took each child individually to the restaurant of their choice and to spend the day with anyone of their choice.  Madalynn had wanted to return to Red Lobster this year and to buy a fishing pole and to have over the family of her friend, Eliza (whose own birthday party was Saturday night).   Little did we know that our aged friend would call the next day saying, "Michelle, did you know that I only got roses 2 times in my life?!  About 40 years ago my husband bought a bunch for me ...and now you bought me some." 
      I'm fully aware that Proverbs says, "Let another man praise thee, and not thine own mouth; a stranger, and not thine own lips."  But, really, this was not a burdening gift, just Walmart roses.  The point is that I've asked myself and the children to distinctly set our minds to serving others.  I'd borne the idea of flowers since her appreciation for them spills out into her yard, but McKala meticulously picked them out, brilliantly pink shorn up in succulent greenery.  Our small deeds can make a world of difference and this time I got to taste it.  Her sweet response was as much a blessing to me.
     Per Michael's brainstorm, McKala's birthday meal was spent in a pizzeria in the mountains where she grew up ...with her childhood guy friend and her keeper of a girl friend she's had through her teens.  They were fine to sit and talk and laugh with this mom for hours about all manner of events, beliefs, good times and bad.  I couldn't ask for our daughter to have chosen better fellowship.
    Michael's birthday stayed true to past years and didn't go smoothly.  I'd hoped that a teammate could join him for go karting but his friend had broken his foot.  He wasn't sure what he wanted as a gift and instead of wasting money, came home with nothing EXCEPT a stomach full of King Crab :)  However, he DID know what he wanted his Pop to have.  It's something of a joke around here about Pop (and Michael too), that he takes everything back, but Michael caught wind during their last visit that Pop wanted a Falcon's Gonzalez shirt.  Michael took it upon himself to place a customized order and have it shipped to him for his birthday today!
     Lastly was Macklynn's birthday.  When I called his penpal's mother about surprising him, she said her son's birthday was 4 days later.  So we planned a day for them of Mexican food and bowling.  They hadn't seen each other since last summer.  Gage is the smallest boy in his class and Macklynn would likely be the biggest.  Gage's hair is sort of long and Macklynn's is really short.  Gage exudes creativity and Macklynn is eccentrically practical.  Gage is teased and I wish Macklynn could be there to back him up.  They share something that I hope they'll keep a long, long time. 
     Afterwards, Macklynn and I went to spend his birthday money and when we were on the way home, he said from the backseat, "Mama, look how many presents I have!"  It really wasn't much, but that he emphatically believed it was made me tear up with gladness.
    The kids are growing up, exhibited by mature selflessness this week.  When I returned from an appointment Wednesday, McKala had everything out of the frig, voluntarily cleaning it.   The prior day she'd made a massive tent for the little ones over the 15 ft frame of the swings and played with them all afternoon.   Out of the blue, Michael took Macklynn to show him how to properly use his new hatchet and Madalynn, her rod.  He built them a fire and did it up right! 
     McKala just brought me home a Tijuana Mama from her joyride.  Again, it's not much, but I know I was in her thoughts ...and I'll take that!  Just like I'll take the calls from Megan and Miranda in Georgia.  That they call with good news and bad, for advice or just a sounding board, during lunch breaks or late night after shifts end, makes my day - that our adult daughters consider me a confidante!  I have a son who wants to shoot with me.  I have a Melody who will sing with me, giving hugs that she used to withhold.  I have 2 young wards left me, who should gain from all I've learned with their siblings and before they're grown, if this world's still spinning, I'll find little ones underfoot again in the natural progression of the full quiver we've been blessed with.

The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

     As I sit here trying to recall the weekend, the big kids are outside around a bonfire with Jaycie, while Madalynn watches her new movie for the 4th time and Mike researches a repair for work.  Macklynn's outside with them and since he turned 8 today, he's well on his way to being "big".  He wanted chocolate covered strawberries for his birthday, so Melody made them just like she made cake balls for Madalynn's, cheesecake for Michael's, and picked out jumbo blueberry muffins for McKala's.  Yes, I have survived our 8 day whirlwind of birthdays!  Plus, Valentine's out with Mike AND joining our church on Sunday!   
     You heard it here:  we found a church home after searching for almost a decade.  Truth is we were worn from not finding a place to settle.  Our "church" wardrobe was even depleted from the apathy that crept up on us.  I am certain that church service is not about fashion.  Every time I start to think so, I remember how pretty I thought I looked in my yellow Easter dress at Burkemont Baptist when I was a preteen.  I'm sure I didn't even know what the preacher preached that Sunday.  However, there IS something to be said for trimmed nails and hair, clean ears, polished shoes, ironed shirts, matching socks, and overall modesty. 
     So, the Sunday that Mike looks over at me and asks, "You wanna do it today or when the girls return," I say, "We don't know when that'll be, so yeah," and turn my head to the children to my right, he's already stepped out into the isle to the left!  Don't get me wrong, I was thrilled.  We knew the first day that we'd found our place.  But, when I beckoned the kids to follow, I think they mistook it as an altar call ...and were trying to figure out why we all had to go ;)  Bless their hearts, I just now explained to Macklynn and Madalynn what we had done, that we had a place to go every Sunday and we didn't have to visit anywhere else, that we can do everything they do.  The first thing Macklynn says, "So, we can eat there now too?"  Ha!
     As we made our way to the front, thankfully I forgot that Macklynn had on an inside out athletic sock; that Madalynn's tights were frayed and the back of her hair almost as much; that when Melody went to shave there was no hot water, so she grabbed a pair of wrinkled pants from her closet floor that were too snug, but I had imagined we might slink in unnoticed; that McKala had on an assortment of spring and winter items that I doubted her new birthday boots carried; that I had on Miranda's sweater with a hole and her pants that are too long for me and too form fitting since I've not exercised in so long, sporting a day old, snowed on, flat "do"; and that Mike needed a haircut, which we told him we'd do the night before, EXCEPT that we didn't get home until 2 am!
     McKala, Michael, Melody, and had driven to Greensboro for Winter Jam (a concert of all genres of Christian music), something I've been spoiled to have Megan or Miranda to take them to until this year.  There we were in the falling snow waiting 3 hours for tickets, surrounded by thousands and thousands of enthusiastic fans.  We saw old friends and made new ones, particularly a businessman of small stature who was sharing his oversized umbrella with others, who I assumed were his family.  But they weren't; he was kindly standing in line alone so that his wife didn't have to endure the weather.  He eventually told me that he was an addict until 2 years ago.  His wife and children are still distant, leary of his claims for Christ.  His daughter hugs her mother at night but not him.  I immediately had empathy for him since Mike's experienced the same thing.  As they opened the doors prematurely so we could escape the cold, he told me he'd pray for Mike and me; then I remembered to ask him their names ...Randy and Bobbi they are.  He has a long road ahead of him because she doesn't have any particular interest in Godly endeavors ...so remember people like these in your prayers.
     The night began roughly since we couldn't decide on seating, then Melody bumped the batteries out of the camera and couldn't find one of them.  I got onto her pretty harshly about her discontent.  I decided to remedy it with searching for the battery myself, so when the crowd stood to their feet, I went hunting ...and I found it!  She still was slumped in her chair and although I never buy venue food, I knew she was hungry; so I went for it anyway ...only to find that those southern Christians had bought out all the fried chicken!  Fries had to sustain and she cheered up, taking several good pictures.  I couldn't let a rift ruin a night of worship.  I want Melody to enjoy Christian music the way she does all the others.
     We were thoroughly entertained and encouraged and HUNGRY at night's end, but I passed one too many McDonald's full of church vans and then they were all closed.  So, we ended up way out of the way at a Waffle House.  The kids knew we didn't need to spend the money, just how they did when I offered a CD or T-Shirt at the concert.  After all, it's wholesome music and birthday season at that, AND they'd paid their own ways in ...but they refused the merchandise ...and I got a glimpse of humility in them, the best thing a parent could ask for.
     On the way home, McKala, usually the first one on the "church train", pleaded for me not to wake her up in the morning.  But when I made my way into our bedroom, Mike said that the new guy at work was bringing his wife to come visit the church with us.
      When the alarm went off, Mike said, "Wake up the kids; we're all going."  I stumbled around bribing them with coffee as they begged me off.  I scavenged the frig for odds and ends to suffice for breakfast.  We got everybody's body parts covered but we looked haggard at best.  Then, as we set off for our 30 minute trip, Mike and I had a disagreement that could've evolved into one of those "turn the car around" deals.  By the time we got there, I was still visibly upset; so I bid everyone ahead of me while I sat in the car to gather myself.  Within minutes, it became clear I'd become overly tired and stressed (even though it was from a lot of good things) and Satan was on my coattails, simply trying to obscure God's providence.
     However, I had no earthly idea why the negative tug was so hard ...until Mike made that move to the isle.  I'll give you credit here for the obvious:  1.  We were up 'til the wee hours.  2.  We looked a mess.  3.  We barely missed a knock down drag out.  Joining the church might not have happened, at least not anytime soon since Mike travels so much, if we'd given in to human frailty at any given level, at any given moment!
    I have so many other things I'd like to recount here, things we did and said on each child's birthday, but what I'm gonna leave this with is:  don't let the logistics bog you down.  Because the closer we get to God, the quicker the devil will jump in the mix to thwart what is bound to happen.  It's NOT about whys, wheres, hows, and how could yous.  It's about a thing that's vastly bigger than we are.  It's about a God who's just waiting for us to turn our faces heavenward.   Sometimes, it IS about the waiting and the not knowing.  But I mean, once you're sold out to Christ, it's like this, one of  my favorites:  " Yea doubtless, and I count all things but loss for the excellency of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord: for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and do count them but dung, that I may win Christ."  ~  Philippians 3:8.  There's more of me for Him to take, so as TobyMac sang Saturday night, "I'll just step out the way," ...so He can "steal my show".  If you have a problem, that's the solution ...and don't forget there's always more at play than we understand ...so on Mike's behalf, I'll announce that he's been diagnosed this Tuesday morning with bronchitis, an ear infection, and a sinus infection even though he's been on 2 rounds of antibiotics, so Sunday morning was surely trying for him also.

Not a Natural

     I just took Michael a pancake, here at 6:10 pm, because I blew up on him when he was making them after church.  I was in my own little world searing a roast, thinking about Megan just leaving for Georgia, and that I needed an apron on, and that I thawed out too much meat, and that I was hungry.  I could just barely hear him ask where the whisk was.  He asked again.  I said I didn't know.  He kept on ...and I snapped.  He muttered something and I lost it.  I think he thought I was ignoring him.  What I tried to explain to them on the ride home today is just how many balls I have to juggle right not.  The problem with prodding people is that we don't know how much pressure they're already under and how explosive the reaction can be ...nevermind PMS.
     God has brought us through the heat and now we just have an awful lot of decisions to make.  The thing that is still terrific about being an American is that we have choices.  The thing about following Jesus is not just making good choices but the best choices.  Right now we still need to downsize.  For the most part, we've cycled out of help from "the system".   As I just told a "soul sister", every aspect of our lives has something up in the air.  Should we live close to Mike's work and our new church?  Should we have available space there for our daughters in Georgia?  Should we start a full fledged garden not knowing and if we don't, will we be able to afford not having one?  Should we even consider moving away from access to a football team, Michael's passion, and if so, should we permit his attendance at boarding school to replace it?  Isn't 15 too young, especially when we finally found a solidly Biblical church that is burdened to disciple young adults?  Should we let him buy the only possession he desires, a powerful dirt bike?  Should McKala try to work near her Daddy since they need to share the car?  Should we sell the animals?  Should we buy one more car since only 5 fit in the one we have?  Should we this?  Should we that?  Should we?
      You say, "The Lord knows what is best."  Of course, He does.  Adhering to that path is a little easier said than done.  We have so, so many variables.  Virtually every area of our lives is still in limbo.  What I do know is limbo is where God needs us so that he can restructure us for His purposes.  The other thing I know is that I have all my children, my husband, my parents, and my health; so I have NOTHING to truly complain about.
     That's why I do what I do.  I'm thankful.  I don't deserve a thing that I have.  I'm not a soft spoken wife.  I'm not a bold enough Christian.  I'm not even a particularly good mother; I don't like crafts and games.  I proved today I hold no special patience.  I'm often too strict or not strict enough. I have almost no common sense.  Sometimes I wander aimlessly from task to task.  I'm not much of a "natural" anything that I want to be.  When my eyes aren't fixed on Christ, I'm vain.  I like attention, just like the teenage girl I used to be.  I like some good southern rock.  I like a good drink.  I'm a happy tipsy.  In and of themselves those things don't seem harmful, maybe not even bad.  But right now, God is asking for my best.  Good choices can be good and still not be God.  My "good" plans limit what God has in store far and above them.
     You know how I know there is a God and that He knows what is best?  Because I've never been so close to Him.  My soul stirs at the thought of Him, not what He can do for me, but what He has done for me already.  As the stationery that my sweet friend made for me says, "All I have seen teaches me to trust for all I have not seen ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson."
     Where are you in life?  What doesn't make sense?  Where are you struggling?  Who in your family is suffering?  You don't think God is available?  Or do you just take Him for granted?  You're not a "natural" at Godly things?  You're distracted and need a break to focus - I always thought that was the problem.  "God, I need a smooth run here, at least for a while, to get my bearings straight."  I guess God knew I'd turn back to things that were good in my own eyes, as fine as they may've been, so in the last 5 years:  Mike had a procedure that caused aortic dissections when our 7th baby was only 5 weeks old.  When all was said and done, life as we knew it was over but my husband lived. I had a son become a quadriplegic but he walked out of the hospital under his own power 9 days later.  Our kitchen caught fire in the house we rent and my hand was burned badly but with no permanent damage. I had an almost unbearable temptation, but my husband came to the Lord in the midst of it.   I had a time of emotional numbness, but now I cry every time I think of the sacrifice of my Saviour.  I had 2 homeless little boys here for 2 months and even though their mother "ripped" them away creating shock and great sadness, my children learned what is to take care of the needy.  I had a friendship blossom and whither away all in the same season, but I still pray for her and will always care about her.   I had a daughter have to make choices that leave her "friendless" right now. I had a husband who lost control of his truck, ran into the median, went airborn over a culvert, crossed two more lanes of traffic, went up an embankment, rolled over ...and walked away, but his tractor trailer was a total loss, the beginning of the end of his self employment. I had a daughter who became a prodigal but I went to her in her hour (and stayed for a week) of need and now she is fully restored.  I had children who invested in calves, babied and bottle fed them and watched helplessly as they tried everything to stop the death that struck half of them. I had a daughter who was overcome with fear and doubt and through much turmoil and counsel is renewed and cheerful in her faith.  I had yet another daughter, healthiest one of the bunch, come down with asthma so badly that she was basically on bedrest for 4 months, yet her spirit has grown as she puts God before herself.   At the same time, I had a husband whose business spiraled into bankrupty, but by God opening doors, he is working full time in ministry now.  But then he broke his leg 2 weeks into the job, but there was Workman's Comp.  Just as I was settling into the new year, we had a septic backup into the house all the way into the ceiling and had to live in the Holiday Inn for 3 weeks when they made a crucial discovery, mold, ...which was making our daughter sick. 
    This is not all.  It doesn't include daily disasters.  You might be thinking, "Man, you people must be doing something wrong to deserve all that."  In part, that's true.  But I think it proves there is never an excuse, never, ever, ever to say, "I can't."  If WE can, if this marriage can, if these kids can through all the upheaval; then you can.  If anything is getting between you and the Lord, if anything is preventing your children from knowing Him, if anything comes before Him, LOSE IT.   Moms, if your husband and your kids need you, don't let your circumstances, your finances, your fear, or yourself hinder it.  Don't plan on society, even church, getting your kids where they need to be.  It falls on you and you can do it.  Get out of the box, out of your plans, out of your good ideas, out of the norm, and into the realm of God.  And if you weren't "born" with what you think you need to do it, our Lord is faithful to supply it. 
   

Shoddy

     3 weeks to the day in the Holiday Inn Express, we got to come home last Thursday!  We managed to sled, fish, swim, volunteer with Mike, give each other haircuts, get Melody's braces on, take McKala for an interview at Chick-fil-A, visit with friends and family, who led us to find ourselves a church, during that time.  Mike swept me away to watch "Les Miserables" once more; took me, McKala, and her "special friend" to lunch on a Saturday afternoon; and lastly drove us, more like "spun us", around in the icy snow to get to Golden Corral, which normally isn't our "cup of tea" but the little guys were in awe of the spread and everyone was silly over the endless cotton candy.
     The first 2 weeks were like vacation.  By the third, the kids had memorized the infomercials and I was feeling the stress of being "on guard" 24/7.   Funny how we had our little "routine" there.   We got to know all the staff and some of their personal stories.  2 of them told us that better children had never stayed there.  I was awfully pleased but, at the same time, worried that today's standards are so much lower, I'm not sure a compliment like that means what it used to. 
     We had so many things weighing down the car on the way home that Mike kept thinking a tire was getting low.  I guess we surprised the workers, even though we'd told them we were coming back when the mold was removed.  The house was so neat that I almost want to go back to the hotel.  A lot of today will be spent putting the rest of things back in order.  After my physical yesterday morning, I got virtually nothing done.  I napped a rare nap and napped again.  I got up long enough to eat leftover Super Bowl pizza, play Lincoln Logs with Macklynn and Go Fish with Madalynn, and finally watch America's Funniest Videos with Melody and Michael.  I slept this morning 'til I couldn't sleep anymore.  You know, sometimes a body needs to do that. 
     Sunday we missed church because of snotty noses and nasty coughs, something I wouldn't dare force on someone else just because I "had" to get to church.  We did get a car!  We drove to Lenoir and bought it off a family that had just put it on Craig's List.  If I recall correctly, it is the first car we've had that was PAID IN FULL.  Nevermind the year and aesthetic condition ;) 
     We got home in enough time to make homemade pizza.  Just as we were getting into the first quarter, the TV went out.  We went to the phone to report it, and IT was out.  Even internet service was down.  As usual, we checked all the bills to make sure I hadn't fouled up.  When we heard on the radio that the lights at the dome were out, we worried a little.  Turns out there was some kind of fiberoptic failure here and life goes on!
     The morning before, Mike and I drove McKala to Charlotte Douglas Airport so she could board the flight to Atlanta that her sisters paid for as her 16th birthday gift.  She loved it.  Our Georgia family is entertaining her well and Megan will bring her back on Friday which will begin our yearly "FebFest".   McKala's birthday is the 11th; Madalynn's is the 12th; Michael's is the 15th; Macklynn's is the 18th.  We'll have one get her license and one get his permit!  We're due for "Homeschool Ski Day" (ha!) and the Winter Jam concert, much less the individual things I like to do with them.
     Mike won't get to take the boys to Daytona for their birthdays this year because he's been released to work!  He's already been "deployed" to New York.  I pray it gets him out of the "haze" that's surrounded him since he broke his leg; getting onto what he was hired for should be the inspiration that evaporates it.
     Friday was a day of "reestablishing headquarters".  It was also the day that brought on the main idea for this blog.  As the workers were putting the finishing touches on, I realized they were leaving some pretty shoddy work.  In a brief conversation before the lead contractor left, he revealed he knows the landlord because he "preaches for him sometimes".  I surprised my own self with a high pitch, "You're a preacher?!"  It hadn't occurred to me at all.  The only evidence I had was when we "showed up", the K-Love Mike left on was still playing and maybe even louder. 
     Until he insuated he was done working, the contractor hadn't given me much reason to think he wasn't a Christian.  On the other hand, he hadn't given me any reason to think he was.  He was leaving things cosmetically worse than he found them, even though the adjuster said his bid was high. 
     The question is this:  is someone questioning the validity of our faith because of our shoddy work?  If we do all to the glory of God, why in the world would we leave things undone and expect payment for them?  Why do we cut corners, hoping no one will notice?  BECAUSE we haven't died to ourselves!  We're still trying to get one up on someone, no matter if it ruins our testimony. 
      REALLY?  Are we satisfied with what God's doing in our own lives so much that we would sacrifice what is best for another?!  What kind of religion is that?  Oh yeah, "religion" IS the problem.  If our lives aren't changed enough to be "infectious" to others, then what good is any of it?
      Is there someone, anyone who'd be surprised if you confessed you're a Christian?  Count it as shame, as I have myself, and get right with God ...before that acquaintance, like my neighbor's best friend's husband, doesn't wake from his sleep and the loss of opportunity is counted against you.  Too, if someone's kid blesses you with a drink and snack, don't leave the trash on the piano when you go.