The trip started out with good signs. In rummaging through from the November cruise, I found something I'd been very disappointed I lost. I ran upstairs to announce it and McKala is so intune to me that she knew what it was, my black pearl earrings that are part of a necklace and bracelet set my Dad gave me.
Mike rented a Harley that he's raved about, with independent steering. "Rides like a super bike!" he said. Passing through Virginia and its scenery was pleasant and a good change-up for Mike who runs that route often but behind the wheel of his truck. He turned back to me and asked if my eyes burned and when we stopped for gas, we found out why. The last guy had lost the cap. After I got my spicy peanuts and milk, which I didn't have time to finish, we took off to a dealership for one. I wondered how small the chances were that I was the only one on the back of a bike drinking a pint of milk. I don't know, but it sure felt good.
We approached the dealer and I realized it's right beside the hotel where I lost my wedding ring 7 years ago, the same day we found out I was pregnant with Macklynn. I'll take that swap any day, but still hope no joy was found from the money my ring was likely pawned for. Mike had asked that we make burgers and bring them for the stay, so I tucked my ring in my pocket to do so. When we returned home and I searched for it, we called and were told an honest housekeeper had found it. We delayed though and showed up to find that "someone" had taken it from its "secure" location. Good thing is I still have my band from our wedding day. The stolen one was the diamond laden one Mike had purchased a number of years after we married.
On to West Virginia, stopping to admire the gold dome of the capital building, ...we arrived and threw open the door to our hotel room and Mike was truly caught by surprise. Over the phone, there were some complications with reservations; so when the manager kindly fixed them, I explained the situation of our "special" anniversary and how much I appreciated it. She then said that she was going to decorate the room for us. I was elated that Mike would get a rare surprise. There were champagne, hand-dipped chocolate strawberries, a dozen pink tipped roses, balloons, doilies, towel swans, and rose petals strewn about the bed - and all for the corporate rate with no additional fees. It was a perfect kick-off to our weekend.
Until ...Mike and I were talking about his serious ailments leading to his loss of 24 pounds in just 3 weeks. He jovially said, "You need to catch it." Now ...I didn't argue with him; tried not to even look at him crossways, but innately I let that cut straight through me. I didn't even want to fight ...because I know it's true, but when a woman is trying to get her "sexy on", that kinda thing knocks her from her footing. After all, I'd tried to look past our blow up at Wake Forest ER, had been walking a couple of miles a day, and, heck, I was so bloated with PMS that my rings didn't fit. The truth is that is was all out sabatoge, just what I wrote about last - the evil one stealing the makings of good memories. When I was younger, I wouldn't have recognized that principalities were invading my space. Then, I tried to salvage what was left, but was hardly successful in overcoming my silly emotions.
We grabbed some supper, showered, slept, ... and this "new Mike" of mine brought waffles to the room next morning. I could've been pouty and complained that I didn't "need" them, but I'm not in the business of destroying hearts and took his gift as just that, a gift. Immediately, he found out that his business insurer is dropping him come Fall. I felt bad that he was presented with a problem right off the bat. He already had his ill health and "hormonal" wife to deal with.
He went to the store and that gave me time to tidy up. When passing back and forth in front of the mirrors, I noticed dressed in my "boyfriend" shirt how much cellulite is on the FRONT of my thighs. 6 years ago I didn't have any, no matter what I weighed, so I took a minute to research some causes. Of course, I'm older and heavier, but I read that it has quite a bit to do with circulation. With the vein problems I have, I wear wool socks to bed in the summer because my feet freeze. I still believe though it could have something to do with the blood thinner injections I had for many months of the last 2 pregnancies. On course, stay on course ...I could've smacked myself when I read that the cider vinegar and coconut oil I stopped taking last year are 2 of the very best things for this problem!
Mike came back cloaked in all kinds of red, white, and blue. He also brought evidence that his Mama raised him right - a thank you card for the hotel manager. Nowadays, I'm often the first to call someone out on something, so I certainly want to balance that with being the first to compliment. She said it was the only time she'd done that; she was thankful for the Norwegian Cruise Line training of her head housekeeper; and she said she was "practicing her romance for the man God has willed for her." She was a tall, pretty, black woman who claimed she had bypassed the advances of 3 men in recent history - one, a doctor; one, a fanastic lover from her past; and one, a love of her life - BUT none of them loved Christ. So she will wait with that smile of hers patiently.
We finally made it to the pool - I, in a forgiving suit and dolled-up a little with jewelry and my new Maui Jims, hoping to distract from lower body "scans". Funny, I read many years ago that verse about not adorning oneself with gold (I even got rid of my jewely box); BUT as I read Song of Solomon now, it's clear that jewelry is an attraction to men, so I'm workin' that angle 'til I get my "sexy" back. You know, it's like anything in the Bible - what matters are intentions. Am I trying to turn on my husband or am I trying to show off my high falutin' ways?
Mike wanted to move to the indoor sauna, so I, being a follower, didn't see that moving from the sun to a hottub I can't sit in (viens) was anything to pick apart. With 2 strong personalities not often coming to a general consensus, I've sometimes voluntarily conditioned myself and other times involuntarily been conditioned to avoid tension over issues of preference ...and just go with the flow - which often is a place of spiritual protection even if we don't always want to be there. Only problem lies in that if his forgetfulnness gets me lost, we're both in a pickle. We ended up in the indoor pool, only ones there, releasing all pretense (which is some image I've always felt I had to match), and just put our arms around each other. There we were, him with his trucker belly, me with my baby belly, and it didn't matter. That whole idea of "mates" came to mind. Being a mate, a true mate for a lifetime, is of the highest honor and a mystery, just out of grasp, to so many us.
I read this last week - true words from a Christian man nearing 70 who has had a vivacious sex life, "We may look back and laugh at the vigor we once knew, of passionate fires long since burned out, but we will not look back in regret, and there will be no loss, for even now the wonderful, glorious flesh has been exceeded by a merging of spirits until the unseen is far more tangible than the seen. As our bodies sag and creak, as the flesh breaks down and leans over to face the cold ground, there has been a life kindled that burns more in the spirit world than in the bedroom. If my wife faded away until nothing was left but her spirit, I would put that dear spirit in a bottle and inhale it until my last breath." That ending sentence brings tears every time I read it, even as I edit this. Am I the kind of mate/spirit whom my husband would want to inhale when I leave this world? I know that I'm not that good or sweet, but I also know there's a God who can get me close to there. I think we can all get there, so if you hear of a woman passing out this 82 page "sex" book in little Union Grove, you'll say, "Yeap, I know that one."
Another thought - "Could it be that I have not had God's blessing to be my utmost physically until I gave my heart fully back into the hands of Mike?" In this year of pulling and tugging, might I have taken myself somewhere I shouldn't have gone if I were "Miss It"? Knowing me, and He does, it's not an unfounded question. (Although "Miss It" would've needed a man with less than perfect sight to overlook a meriad of flaws.)
What we drove all the way to West Virginia to see was the musical talent of Lou Reid and Carolina. We rode many miles from the hotel through valleys that looked much like those we've driven between North Carolina and Tennessee. Mike ate up breezing through those curves as I smelled that familiar mountain air. We parked just in time to hear the band starting. Live instrumental music can't be substituted, plus they lent their well defined voices to dedications for our anniversary titled, "Walk Through This World with Me" and "Wait a Minute", song about a traveling husband and father. It really made me think hard about the years and what building and demolition that's gone on - the unexplicable grace given us to survive and bring 7 precious souls along with us.
Afterwards, I shared with Christy our "appreciation" for the venue. The engines of mud boggers/full pullers were the back-up music, but Mike and I grinned as we reminisced on another piece of our history - when he talked this "preppy" girl into a contest to see who could run through the bog the fastest. Laughing, we mounted up again for the road. The thing about the motorcyle is that you have to touch. Touch has been tentative at best over the last months; but, it felt right to lean on him, rub and scratch his back, squeeze him with my legs to the pulse of the music, or just give him a big ole bear hug. (We're gettin' somewhere in this walk to the unknown.) After a couple of hours horsing around with everyone at the hotel lounge, we went to the room to finally culminate our WV experience, even topping off with a cowgirl up - not had in well over a year and about time for. ;)
I brought him room service the next morning and then NC it was. We had a couple of days left of celebration, including the 4th, but I'd found what I needed already, a piece to the puzzle of Mike and me.
No comments:
Post a Comment