McKala is 14 today, our 3rd baby girl. She doesn't take anything; has no problems SEEING black and white, wrong from right. She'd fight 'til death for what's best for a child; been raising money for a home of expecting teenagers with nowhere to go, since she was 9 or so.
SEEING is pivotal to her birth. We had two 10 lb babies before her, even a homebirth, but insurance led us to an OB/GYN with an assisting midwife. God knew I would need this change.
All is forgiven in Christ but circumstances often persist and because of something I should've never risked in my youth, I had to have her by emergency section. The condition could've been managed, but when she came more than 2 weeks early, I knew what was coming and had not prepared. Mike was on a trip. I called my mother, got in the tub, and shaved my legs. Off to Henry County we went.
She came hard and fast. We couldn't let her come out the birth canal for fear of blindness and weeks of hospitalization with other complications, even death. I was quickly wheeled into the OR, Mike not having arrived yet. I remember them prepping me, panicked that the doctor wasn't there. They strapped my arms to the table, begging me not to push, but my body was lurching involuntarily. I was afraid looking around wildly and pleading with God. Seared into my memory is my arms pulling against the straps with unmeasurable surges of energy from my body that were going to cause damage I and the nurses had no way of stopping. The doctor rushed in and I was out before they counted to 5. They cut her from me saving her from a dangerous beginning and when I woke up, SEEING unharmed eyes on mine was all I needed.
Friday, February 11, 2011
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
Never Be Normal
I should be asleep right now at 1:44 am or at least figuring out the tab settings so I'll quit screwing them up. The big Coke I had in the ER with Miranda (for fear of falling asleep having 2 1/2 hrs last night and a restless 2 hr nap) has me awake. I was so sleepy this morning that I honestly forgot to drink coffee, just remembering it midafternoon while I was in the tub (trying not to be homely as I am so often lately) and knowing I was missing something. An hour later, Madalynn was seen by a new doctor and I was impressed with him. He got serious as soon as he saw her sheepish countenance and by the end of the visit gave what I knew was warranted, a large dose of Rocephin in each thigh for the horrendous infections in her ears. She threw up all the way home as I broke down wondering if the 48 hr limit he set for improvement before admission would be met. She IS sleeping soundly in our bed and after keeping little to nothing down for 5 days, she kept 2 small pieces of chicken down with quite a bit of Gatorade.
Miranda, who has become a professional sick person since her 16th birthday in October: with headaches from a concussion for weeks while dealing with something of a broken heart; 2 really bad colds - one ending in an eardrum rupture; this stomach virus; and mulling around meanings so much that it keeps her up at night; has never needed the ER until last week and again today, only to find out - nothing. I am glad that kidney infections are ruled out, but half pondering if there is a real "Dr. House" or if our sweetly zealous cousin saying, "You are healed," worked! (Anyway, after hearing her vomiting sound like a swamp monster through an intercom, I think there's a chance she might've only thrown her back out!)
Melody is ever so sick right now; I have no idea where a 10 year old could store that kind of stock but she keeps in mind that it means she will make the birthday party she has been packed for all week. I am thinking that the more I try to have a "normal" week, the more we don't. I used to think it was simply Satan and I had to overcome, and I do; BUT I have an unexplainable peace that not being normal is okay, for us. There are particular things that are obviously crucial to well-rounded living and learning; we do want to accomplish those. And then, there are other things that a lot of people THINK are crucial. We tend to be "doers" (sometimes only studying in odd times and increments) and I'm beginning to think God is impressing on me that he needs leaders who can "transform", "adapt", "thrive in difficulty", "coexist with battle". I'm not promoting throwing off all routine (or being a cyborg), but UPGRADING to the GRACE that gives vision to priorities not lists; individuality alongside cooperation (still very much in the works here); timing - essential to maturity; sacrifice and serving; being available and ready, fully expecting to change the world.
It's 3:33 am and my baby Madalynn, 4 days shy of her 3rd birthday, is back asleep after being sick once again.
Miranda, who has become a professional sick person since her 16th birthday in October: with headaches from a concussion for weeks while dealing with something of a broken heart; 2 really bad colds - one ending in an eardrum rupture; this stomach virus; and mulling around meanings so much that it keeps her up at night; has never needed the ER until last week and again today, only to find out - nothing. I am glad that kidney infections are ruled out, but half pondering if there is a real "Dr. House" or if our sweetly zealous cousin saying, "You are healed," worked! (Anyway, after hearing her vomiting sound like a swamp monster through an intercom, I think there's a chance she might've only thrown her back out!)
Melody is ever so sick right now; I have no idea where a 10 year old could store that kind of stock but she keeps in mind that it means she will make the birthday party she has been packed for all week. I am thinking that the more I try to have a "normal" week, the more we don't. I used to think it was simply Satan and I had to overcome, and I do; BUT I have an unexplainable peace that not being normal is okay, for us. There are particular things that are obviously crucial to well-rounded living and learning; we do want to accomplish those. And then, there are other things that a lot of people THINK are crucial. We tend to be "doers" (sometimes only studying in odd times and increments) and I'm beginning to think God is impressing on me that he needs leaders who can "transform", "adapt", "thrive in difficulty", "coexist with battle". I'm not promoting throwing off all routine (or being a cyborg), but UPGRADING to the GRACE that gives vision to priorities not lists; individuality alongside cooperation (still very much in the works here); timing - essential to maturity; sacrifice and serving; being available and ready, fully expecting to change the world.
It's 3:33 am and my baby Madalynn, 4 days shy of her 3rd birthday, is back asleep after being sick once again.
Monday, February 7, 2011
Today....today?.....what happened today?
I woke to the pitter patter of tiny feet of a certain young boy, which meant the worst of his stomach virus was over after his mother spent the night with him in her arms. I know as a young mother of small children who have never been so sick, to watch the pitiful heaving over and over made it tempting to seek medical help. But she held back the tears on first seeing their state, stuck it out, and even had a few laughs. Her brother, Tim, good sport of a man, came to visit and took the brunt of a silent "eruption" right between the legs just after he was handed his nephew.
Mondays, Mondays - bills (thankful to pay), calls (got through to Social Services and a Lawyer, well her voicemail anyway), laundry (tons of nasty laundry), and even taxes (Mike did & with great news - enough for major repairs on the Freightliner and enough to pay for 1st week's fuel, over $3K, yes $3K for 1 week of flower hauls).
My Madalynn has never, ever been this sick (stomach, ears, and horrendous rash) losing at least 2 pounds off her slim 36 lb frame. She requested cheesesticks finally (the kind in plastic) and you're "darn straight" we picked 'em up tonight. Macklynn had leg pain in the midst of his bug and I couldn't be happier to see him running around pestering everyone to play a game with him today. (Those close know why.) Melody, well, she is on a hunt regularly now for chocolate, so we parents of girls this flowering age know what's in the works. Michael gets his own paragraph tonight:
He and a friend, a hiliarious friend I should add, got the high honor of being invited to a Charlotte Bobcats basketball game tonight. Melody's Coach Cory, met me in the door of the bank and said he had observed something in church. Michael and Macklynn were seated in front of his family and he watched with high regard while Michael paid close attention to his young brother. The coach said he thought Michael should get to go to this game. I'm not a user of "proud", but a mother could hardly feel better about how her life's work has presented itself.
McKala has gone back and forth all day - too girly, not girly enough - about the "look" she wanted for the
pictures tonight with her dominantly male team. Miranda was delighted to find out that a meal is free her first day and coupled with their famous milkshake, she "had" to take a nap when she got home. Megan didn't get an answer today and is searching for what that means.
Mike has been home all weekend and helped with the sick, tenderly really, and has come down with it himself, right after he ate his favorite Subway sandwich, which is so "original" that the woman told Miranda she knew just who it was for. He shared with me and I do believe it made me feel better, along with the huge Cherry Coke Miranda handed over. I had battled the "urge" myself all day, taking a headache instead. At least, I didn't fall out of a moving van, with some equipment to boot, the way a guy we saw in front of Wal-Mart tonight did. He came up tickled; I liked that.
Of course, exercise played no part, but I think I lost a couple of pounds in all this. Tomorrow I hope to take the week by the reins and plow forward.
Mondays, Mondays - bills (thankful to pay), calls (got through to Social Services and a Lawyer, well her voicemail anyway), laundry (tons of nasty laundry), and even taxes (Mike did & with great news - enough for major repairs on the Freightliner and enough to pay for 1st week's fuel, over $3K, yes $3K for 1 week of flower hauls).
My Madalynn has never, ever been this sick (stomach, ears, and horrendous rash) losing at least 2 pounds off her slim 36 lb frame. She requested cheesesticks finally (the kind in plastic) and you're "darn straight" we picked 'em up tonight. Macklynn had leg pain in the midst of his bug and I couldn't be happier to see him running around pestering everyone to play a game with him today. (Those close know why.) Melody, well, she is on a hunt regularly now for chocolate, so we parents of girls this flowering age know what's in the works. Michael gets his own paragraph tonight:
He and a friend, a hiliarious friend I should add, got the high honor of being invited to a Charlotte Bobcats basketball game tonight. Melody's Coach Cory, met me in the door of the bank and said he had observed something in church. Michael and Macklynn were seated in front of his family and he watched with high regard while Michael paid close attention to his young brother. The coach said he thought Michael should get to go to this game. I'm not a user of "proud", but a mother could hardly feel better about how her life's work has presented itself.
McKala has gone back and forth all day - too girly, not girly enough - about the "look" she wanted for the
pictures tonight with her dominantly male team. Miranda was delighted to find out that a meal is free her first day and coupled with their famous milkshake, she "had" to take a nap when she got home. Megan didn't get an answer today and is searching for what that means.
Mike has been home all weekend and helped with the sick, tenderly really, and has come down with it himself, right after he ate his favorite Subway sandwich, which is so "original" that the woman told Miranda she knew just who it was for. He shared with me and I do believe it made me feel better, along with the huge Cherry Coke Miranda handed over. I had battled the "urge" myself all day, taking a headache instead. At least, I didn't fall out of a moving van, with some equipment to boot, the way a guy we saw in front of Wal-Mart tonight did. He came up tickled; I liked that.
Of course, exercise played no part, but I think I lost a couple of pounds in all this. Tomorrow I hope to take the week by the reins and plow forward.
Sunday, February 6, 2011
Me, the Secret Shopper?!
Several people know from Facebook yesterday how seriously I took the incident Miranda had with her District Manager. Apparently, he was sick and so was she. She had not been trained on some things and he decided to set out for her on a warpath at some point. I could've left it, if it only consisted of some sarcastic remarks on a bad day. But in the middle of her explaining that she had a ruptured eardrum (and can't hear out of it yet) and had been to the ER for the first time ever (for what we believe is a gall bladder disorder), he said angrily in front of others, "So you can't s**t and you can only hear with 1 ear. Who cares?!" She didn't argue and finished her hours.
Soooo, I gussied up (despite all the the upchucking and undie accidents here) in my dress pants and pink sweater and drove Miranda to work, let her walk in before I opened my door. I went with my camera to video any indiscretion and my Bible to hold patience and composure. Miranda was standing beside the counter with no acknowledgement that I was there while the manager fumbled with something and asked it I wanted to dine in. I sharply said, "Yes." Miranda sensing that I had honed in on the wrong guy came and put her arm around me and said, "This is my Mom." He looked relieved and I looked confused. He asked us to go sit with him and explained that my fixed "gaze" had led him to believe I was the "Secret Shopper" (critic) they'd been expecting for some time. Toooo funny! What a way to break the ice!
He had no clue what all had gone on, so I bit my lip and let Miranda explain it to him, but she left out the key point because she didn't know how to "put" the quote of the offender. The store manager seemed genuinely shocked and gave the Distrist Manager a call at home to hear his version. Picking up on the skirting around he was doing, he handed the phone to me. The guy did a Clinton act, wanting to appear forgetful and/or misunderstood. He gave me a pep speech (I'm sure he learned in training/school to always let the complainee win) about how he cares for youth and has 4 kids of his own, one (his 13 year old) whom he had compared Miranda to and had asked her, "Do they not teach you respect at your school?" in reference to eye contact with a customer. She is still honestly clueless on what he was pointing out.
Thing is he got personal and used profanity in a "no tolerance" zone and admitted it when cornered. I thanked him for his time, not necessarily his insincere apology. He quickly called back the manager but cut him short to answer a call from Corporate. It HAD to have suddenly hit him that I wasn't kidding when I said the ball was already rolling.
The manager gave us his personal number to use as a reference and gave each one of our children a "Free Buffet" voucher. I had been a little worried about sitting near a buffet for the 3 hours she was scheduled, but I had only a salad and 2 and a half small pieces of pizza as I sat there pondering the prospect of being a real "Secret Shopper".
Cool thing is...not only did Miranda already get another job last week with twice the hours, she got a call when we returned from Shoney's (where Megan worked) and big sister must have left a great impression because they told her to bring her Cookout schedule and they would work around it and of course, she would make twice the money waitressing. I'm loving the work ethic, the hardship it entails sometimes, and the true character and honor it can build.
Soooo, I gussied up (despite all the the upchucking and undie accidents here) in my dress pants and pink sweater and drove Miranda to work, let her walk in before I opened my door. I went with my camera to video any indiscretion and my Bible to hold patience and composure. Miranda was standing beside the counter with no acknowledgement that I was there while the manager fumbled with something and asked it I wanted to dine in. I sharply said, "Yes." Miranda sensing that I had honed in on the wrong guy came and put her arm around me and said, "This is my Mom." He looked relieved and I looked confused. He asked us to go sit with him and explained that my fixed "gaze" had led him to believe I was the "Secret Shopper" (critic) they'd been expecting for some time. Toooo funny! What a way to break the ice!
He had no clue what all had gone on, so I bit my lip and let Miranda explain it to him, but she left out the key point because she didn't know how to "put" the quote of the offender. The store manager seemed genuinely shocked and gave the Distrist Manager a call at home to hear his version. Picking up on the skirting around he was doing, he handed the phone to me. The guy did a Clinton act, wanting to appear forgetful and/or misunderstood. He gave me a pep speech (I'm sure he learned in training/school to always let the complainee win) about how he cares for youth and has 4 kids of his own, one (his 13 year old) whom he had compared Miranda to and had asked her, "Do they not teach you respect at your school?" in reference to eye contact with a customer. She is still honestly clueless on what he was pointing out.
Thing is he got personal and used profanity in a "no tolerance" zone and admitted it when cornered. I thanked him for his time, not necessarily his insincere apology. He quickly called back the manager but cut him short to answer a call from Corporate. It HAD to have suddenly hit him that I wasn't kidding when I said the ball was already rolling.
The manager gave us his personal number to use as a reference and gave each one of our children a "Free Buffet" voucher. I had been a little worried about sitting near a buffet for the 3 hours she was scheduled, but I had only a salad and 2 and a half small pieces of pizza as I sat there pondering the prospect of being a real "Secret Shopper".
Cool thing is...not only did Miranda already get another job last week with twice the hours, she got a call when we returned from Shoney's (where Megan worked) and big sister must have left a great impression because they told her to bring her Cookout schedule and they would work around it and of course, she would make twice the money waitressing. I'm loving the work ethic, the hardship it entails sometimes, and the true character and honor it can build.
Friday, February 4, 2011
To be a kid
I headed down to Statesville with McKala and 4 kiddos 5 years old and younger. And, no, I never had any intention of getting them out, to climb all over the bleachers (the old fashioned kind they'd likely end up dangling from), to watch McKala's basketball game. Madalynn was having bouts of nausea, so we took an ice cream bucket. I can just about guaran-dang-tee you she got a stomach virus from the ER while we were there to see about complications from Fifth Disease only to find she had never gotten well from that God forsaken cold we all had.
First things first, I had to make sure the boys didn't need to pee, so I took one over to the grass. I can say with some certainty that peeing outside is learned because he became almost hysterical that it was an unnatural act or maybe it's just that we're still setting them on a "potty" seat, selfishly to keep all that where it's supposed to be. I surely wish I could've switched with his innocent "release" since I had fueled up on caffeine before the endeavor to keep a "cheerful" attitude.
I decided to sit with them to watch the movie and I'm thinking I wouldn't mind doing that again, kinda like chasing them up to the top bunk and sprawling out there chattering about whatever. It was cozy and they were much impressed to have a grown up in the "back of the bus", and to have fries fed to them one by one is pretty good service, although I was doing it to save the van and myself from any evidence of food trespass.
I'm holding weak Madalynn and thinking how nice it would be to have someone hold the bowl when the heaves come, while having hair smoothed back and sweet words whispered nearby. Then again, not every child has that luxury. So I'm gonna be glad I have this sick one to care for and that she has me. There should be plenty of days for spying into their world: swinging, jumping, swimming, pretending....and if I'd play more often, I wouldn't have to work quite so much at being fit - more balance between their day and mine to achieve here.
First things first, I had to make sure the boys didn't need to pee, so I took one over to the grass. I can say with some certainty that peeing outside is learned because he became almost hysterical that it was an unnatural act or maybe it's just that we're still setting them on a "potty" seat, selfishly to keep all that where it's supposed to be. I surely wish I could've switched with his innocent "release" since I had fueled up on caffeine before the endeavor to keep a "cheerful" attitude.
I decided to sit with them to watch the movie and I'm thinking I wouldn't mind doing that again, kinda like chasing them up to the top bunk and sprawling out there chattering about whatever. It was cozy and they were much impressed to have a grown up in the "back of the bus", and to have fries fed to them one by one is pretty good service, although I was doing it to save the van and myself from any evidence of food trespass.
I'm holding weak Madalynn and thinking how nice it would be to have someone hold the bowl when the heaves come, while having hair smoothed back and sweet words whispered nearby. Then again, not every child has that luxury. So I'm gonna be glad I have this sick one to care for and that she has me. There should be plenty of days for spying into their world: swinging, jumping, swimming, pretending....and if I'd play more often, I wouldn't have to work quite so much at being fit - more balance between their day and mine to achieve here.
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Heart Day
With all this talk about heart health in February, I have to go back to my New Year's resolve and back it up with the fact that my grandmother, her sister and mother, had heart attacks before they were 40. They were tobacco users, my great grandmother a "chewer" down there in 'Bama and lived 'til she was 92....hmmm. No smoking or chewing here and I love most all healthy food but I have only spurts of exercise frenzy. It's "40" for me this summer and as much as appearing competitive with women who " haven't" had 7 children could be nice, not dropping dead would be nicer.
It's interesting that so much talk is of Mike and "his" heart trouble, requiring a catheterization this time last year, and needing an overview of his "electrical" system now. As mentioned before, I've felt indispensable at times, but after seeing the kids' performance this month, I know I'd better get with it to live up to "indispensability". That's not to mention the example I can set taking care of this, one and only, "temple" and the "attitude" that follows a healthy body that is more intimate in the awakened awareness of each muscle and vibe. Friday morning needs to be my day. I love to exercise, all the little people sleep through the night, and I have no sickness at all, so I'll get my butt in bed in hopes that tomorrow will make it smaller.
It's interesting that so much talk is of Mike and "his" heart trouble, requiring a catheterization this time last year, and needing an overview of his "electrical" system now. As mentioned before, I've felt indispensable at times, but after seeing the kids' performance this month, I know I'd better get with it to live up to "indispensability". That's not to mention the example I can set taking care of this, one and only, "temple" and the "attitude" that follows a healthy body that is more intimate in the awakened awareness of each muscle and vibe. Friday morning needs to be my day. I love to exercise, all the little people sleep through the night, and I have no sickness at all, so I'll get my butt in bed in hopes that tomorrow will make it smaller.
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Yesterday I hardly had a thing to say, then...
Turns out yesterday (or "one day backwards" as Macklynn puts it) wasn't that average since I was able to report on Facebook that I walked in on Madalynn kissing the mirror in her sister's super red lipstick, Michael made two very real looking knives with handles, Miranda nailed the job at Cookout, McKala and I did some shopping, and Mike called to say was swinging by the house just to watch a movie with me.
I was pretty out of it when he arrived at midnight, so we had our movie date this morning. We finally got to see "Avatar" and the end was too scratched to finish! What part we saw was entertaining and something like an Indian Tarzan in the bottom of the ocean. SciFi is limited to the imagination we were given, so nothing is really "new". We can't handle the mind of God and won't know much more 'til the afterlife. Even then, I still don't "have" to know; to be in His presence is enough.
I'm not sure why deity is cast so often now as female. Are we not confident in our position enough to just "be"? We're givers of life and able to do virtually anything, not that we always "should". Although I can't find it right this second, I know the Book says that the weaker shall be first in heaven. I'm good with that.
I don't often "do" movies because my mind drifts to reality. Even today, we were interrupted by Miranda with her right side pain and a call that the "social worker" for the boys wants to meet here tomorrow am. Seems that the end of the movie wasn't intended for us anyway since we needed to go to the ER. With some symptoms little Madalynn was having, I felt like she should ride along and I was right. The doctor drew in a breath when examining her ears and said her infection had returned with a vengeance. On the other hand, it seems Miranda was a little blown off. An ultrasound has been scheduled for tomorrow, right about the time Megan (20) has her interview with the director of The Nationwide Series.
Kudos to "K" for holding down the fort while we were out: cooking, cleaning, and watching. She has everything, and more, it takes to be the "Nanny" she wants to be. I hate there has been so much surviving instead of thriving around here, but in the end, surviving well IS thriving.
Sweet Madalynn has thrown up both doses of Augmentin and woke from her nap screaming, "I can't see!" Her eyes were sealed shut. I think we should head back to town, out and about late like true Harpers.
I was pretty out of it when he arrived at midnight, so we had our movie date this morning. We finally got to see "Avatar" and the end was too scratched to finish! What part we saw was entertaining and something like an Indian Tarzan in the bottom of the ocean. SciFi is limited to the imagination we were given, so nothing is really "new". We can't handle the mind of God and won't know much more 'til the afterlife. Even then, I still don't "have" to know; to be in His presence is enough.
I'm not sure why deity is cast so often now as female. Are we not confident in our position enough to just "be"? We're givers of life and able to do virtually anything, not that we always "should". Although I can't find it right this second, I know the Book says that the weaker shall be first in heaven. I'm good with that.
I don't often "do" movies because my mind drifts to reality. Even today, we were interrupted by Miranda with her right side pain and a call that the "social worker" for the boys wants to meet here tomorrow am. Seems that the end of the movie wasn't intended for us anyway since we needed to go to the ER. With some symptoms little Madalynn was having, I felt like she should ride along and I was right. The doctor drew in a breath when examining her ears and said her infection had returned with a vengeance. On the other hand, it seems Miranda was a little blown off. An ultrasound has been scheduled for tomorrow, right about the time Megan (20) has her interview with the director of The Nationwide Series.
Kudos to "K" for holding down the fort while we were out: cooking, cleaning, and watching. She has everything, and more, it takes to be the "Nanny" she wants to be. I hate there has been so much surviving instead of thriving around here, but in the end, surviving well IS thriving.
Sweet Madalynn has thrown up both doses of Augmentin and woke from her nap screaming, "I can't see!" Her eyes were sealed shut. I think we should head back to town, out and about late like true Harpers.
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